


Firestones

by dsc



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Artist Castiel (Supernatural), Baking, Christmas, Cooking, Dean's a bit of a dick, Drinking, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Porn Watching, Summer Vacation, Writer Castiel, there turned out to be more Sabriel than I planned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-05-10 12:25:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsc/pseuds/dsc
Summary: Dean is a private person who likes to spend his time alone. His brother is concerned about Dean never seeing anyone outside their family and sometimes makes him go out with him and his own best friend.Castiel is a private person who likes to spend his time alone. His brother doesn't worry about it too much because Castiel has always been like that. Still, Gabriel would like to see his little brother have some fun from time to time so he invites him to spend some time with him and his friends.Two hermits pushed to meet each other, that is all you need for a love story.





	1. A spark

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I found an old work and decided to finish and publish it. It will have several chapters that I will be posting as I make progress with the rest of the story. I will be adding more tags everytime I post a new chapter to avoid spoilers.

It was Thursday evening. Dean was sitting in the big living room watching television. If you asked him day offs were meant for long movie marathons and junk food. After a long work period, it was nice to lie on the couch for several hours and get a little longer weekend than usual even though he'd have to repay the 'vacation' later. 

The sound of a door being opened and then slammed shut echoed to the living room from the lobby. A tall man appeared in the living room. He was wearing a dark midnight blue suit and was carrying a briefcase. He lowered it on the floor. 

"You're home early," Dean said still staring at the tv. The man was Dean's younger brother Sam.  
"It's ten past six Dean," Sam grunted and glared at Dean.  
"Oh. Ten past six. Well, you're not early then."  
"So you weren't at the garage today?" Sam inquired.  
"I took a couple of days off. Gonna work the next two Saturdays."  
"Oh okay. Have you been home all day?"  
"Yeah. Where else would've I been?" Dean looked at Sam asking.  
"Out with your friends for a coffee or something," Sam answered.  
Dean rolled his eyes and shut the tv.  
"Last time I checked I didn't actually have many friends." He stood up. "Not that I need any." He started walking towards his room but stopped when Sam spoke again.  
"Dean you could have many friends if you just made an effort." 

Here we go again, Dean thought. A weekly rant about how he should socialise because being alone most of the time wasn't good for anyone.

"People from the garage, for example, I know they'd like to spend some time with you. Dean, you never leave the house except when you go to work, or when we visit mom and dad. I'm going to the movies with Gabe tomorrow and for dinner after. You're coming with us."  
"Yeah right. Remember how well it went last time? I really don't think Gabe wants me there and I for sure don't want to be there." 

About a month ago Sam made Dean go for a beer with him and his boss Gabriel who is also a good friend of Sam's. The night had started quite okay but started turning to a bad one after they had taken some drinks. They all had taken a couple too many and Gabriel started making a lot of irritating jokes and all kinds of comments that pissed Dean off. Dean's temper isn't even near long and it's even shorter when he's had a few drinks so he lost it and punched Gabriel in the face. They haven't talked since and Dean really doubts that Gabriel has already forgotten it.

"His brother is coming too so Gabriel is fine with you coming with us. Please, Dean. You have to go out and meet people." Stupid Sam. Dean couldn't say no to his puppy face and that sad voice of his. It had always worked on him and Sam knew it very well.  
"You're coming," Sam stated.  
"Yeah yeah," Dean agreed and disappeared into his room closing the door behind him. He lay on his bed and after a while, he fell asleep.

***

Castiel woke up to the ringing of his phone. His hand was fumbling through the stuff on his nightstand seeking for his phone. When he finally found it he held it against his ear.  
"Who dares call me this early on my day off?" He growled. For once he could sleep until evening and someone decided to call him right now.  
"Mornin' lilbro. Should've gone to sleep earlier. It's already half past noon. Remember I'll get you at six. I hope you're ready then." 

It was his brother Gabriel. He had called Castiel last night and asked him to go out with him. Castiel wasn't very excited about it, but Gabriel had offered him a day off if he came so he had agreed to go. The day off left him more time to continue writing his new book. Castiel wasn't really a person who liked going out with people. The only person he ever saw was his brother. He preferred being alone. 

"Yes. I'll be ready," Castiel said.  
"I guess I should warn you Castiel. Tonight is going to involve talking to people. I didn't mention that yesterday. You wouldn't have agreed to go out if I had told you." That was probably true.  
"Remember Sam Winchester?"  
"Yes, Gabriel. How could I forget him when he's everything you talk about." Castiel sighed and turned to lie on his back.  
"You're exaggerating. I do not talk about him that much. But anyways he's coming with us...and the best part for you, he is taking his brother with him. I have a feeling you two might get along well."  
"I don't really know about that, but I'm going back to sleep now. Bye, Gabriel."  
Castiel ended the call and put on an alarm at 4 pm. 

Next time he woke up to his alarm. It was 4 pm so he had two hours until Gabriel would pick him up. Well enough time to take a shower and eat something, he thought and got up from the bed. Castiel walked to the bathroom and undressed then he got into the shower and stood under the hot spray for what felt like an hour. He washed fast and left the shower. Then he went back to his bedroom to get clean clothes and checked the clock. He still had over an hour. 

Castiel took a dark blue sweater and black jeans from a wardrobe and put them on. They were only going to the movies and a dinner so there was no need to wear anything too fancy. After he had dressed he went to the kitchen. He took a box which was filled with pasta and sauce he had made yesterday from the refrigerator and put it into a microwave. 

Castiel ate in peace and read through some of the stuff he had written last night. And soon an hour had passed and he heard a car drive in front of his house. He grabbed his coat and went outside. He could clean the table when he gets back home. 

***

Dean's day had gone mostly watching tv, but he had also cleaned the house and baked pecan pie and muffins. The day had gone really fast and it was soon 5 pm and Sam was back home. 

"Hi Dean," Sam said when he came to the kitchen. Dean was sitting at the table eating a piece of a pie and reading a magazine.  
"Hi Sammy," Dean said mouth full of pie.  
"I hope you remember that we're going out tonight." Like Dean could forget something so horrible.  
"I'll go take a shower and we can leave after that. You should get ready too." Sam left the room and Dean finished his pie and cleaned the kitchen. After that, he was ready to go so he went to put on his jacket, sat on the couch and waited for his brother. 

In fifteen minutes, they were sitting in Dean's Impala driving to the cinema. Dean had put AC/DC playing so Sam couldn't say anything or at least Dean wouldn't hear anything if Sam did say something. He really wasn't in the mood for chatting about anything. He needed to prepare himself for the evening and the best way to do that was to just not think about it at all. When they were almost at the cinema Sam turned the music off and opened his mouth before Dean could complain.

"I know you don't really enjoy going out with us Dean but please try to behave while we're there. Gabriel is still my boss. Yes, we are friends but he could still get mad at me and fire me."  
"I'll behave as long as he behaves."  
"Dean. Promise me you won't do or say anything stupid" Sam demanded.  
Dean didn't answer, just turned the music back on.

They had arrived at the parking lot. Dean parked the Impala next to a black Audi R8 which according to Sam was Gabriel's. They walked to the lobby where Sam immediately noticed the shorter guy on the line for the tickets and they walked towards him. There was a dark haired man next to him, but his back was directed to them.

"Hi, Gabe. And Castiel." Sam smiled and greeted the two men. Now the other man turned to face them. He looked like he was feeling very uncomfortable. Good thing Dean wasn't the only one who didn't want to be there. The guy was really nice looking. His face didn't have anything that would've reminded Dean of Gabriel. He would never have guessed that they were brothers if Sam hadn't told him. The guy was wearing an old trench coat and his hair was a little messy and Dean just wanted to run his hands through it. And he had these blue eyes that made you feel like you were drowning, but like in a good way. Dean felt like the guy was staring at him. Probably because he was staring at the man. They were both staring at each other and it was getting a little weird.  
Dean smiled awkwardly and offered his hand.  
"Hi. I'm Dean." The other man took his hand and shook it.  
"Hello, Dean. I'm Castiel." He said and smiled back.  
"So you are Sam's older brother."  
"Yes," Dean said scratching his neck.  
"And you are Gabriel's brother."  
"Yes, I am. His younger brother actually." Castiel laughed.  
"I like your shirt, by the way."  
Dean was wearing an old black Zeppelin t-shirt under his jacket. It was his favourite.  
"Thanks," Dean said and smiled. Well, guess Mister weird name can't be that bad if he knows good music.  
"Hey, you guys coming?" Sam shouted from the counter. A couple of people who had been before them had gone and it was their turn to buy the tickets.  
Dean walked to the counter with Castiel.  
"So which movie are we going to see?" Castiel asked.  
"They're showing Jaws tonight," Gabriel stated.  
"I assume you two can sit side by side," Gabriel smirked at the two of them.  
Castiel looked at Dean with an asking expression.  
"Sure. Whatever." Dean agreed. Better Cas than Gabe. Maybe they could get to know each other a little during the movie unless Castiel wanted to actually watch it.  
They bought the tickets and popcorn for all of them and went to sit in their seats in the theatre. 

***

"So...Seems like you and Dean are getting along very well," Gabriel said.  
They were driving to a restaurant which was a few blocks from the cinema. Sam and Dean were driving behind them with the Impala.  
The movie hadn't been very interesting, but Castiel had managed to survive the boredom because Dean hadn't been that interested in it either because he had seen it many times before. Well, that's what he had told Castiel. They had talked a lot during the movie. Mostly about other movies and a little about music. They had found out that they liked the same things and they really did get along well.  
"Yes. Dean is a very nice person and we share a lot of same interests." Castiel agreed.  
"So you like him. Would you like to go out with him again after this evening?"  
"I don't know Gabriel." Castiel sighed. The car stopped. They were in the parking lot outside the restaurant. The restaurant looked quite fancy from the outside.  
"I thought we were going to a takeout place or something. Aren't we a little too underdressed?"  
Gabriel turned to face Castiel.  
"Nah. I don't think they care how we're dressed. But I do care about one thing kiddo. You're going to ask Dean out after this dinner. Ok? You obviously like him and he seems to like you too. You wouldn't talk to him if you didn't like him."  
"Yes. Maybe." Castiel got out of the car. Gabriel was always trying to get him to know people. It never really worked. But Dean was different from the others. He was interesting. He was nice and funny. He was also very handsome and he had these very beautiful green eyes and the freckles on his face just make everything even better. There had to be something wrong with the guy. There is always something and that is why Castiel doesn't really like people.  
He saw the Impala drive to the parking lot. They parked it a few feet to the right of Gabe's car. Sam and Dean both got out of the car and walked towards him. He could also hear Gabriel get out of his car.  
Dean stood beside Castiel. Their arms were almost touching and Cas wanted to move, but he couldn't. It was like there was this force between them keeping the two men close to each other.  
"Isn't this place a little too fancy?" Dean glared at Gabriel who had moved to Sam's personal space. Which did not seem to bother Sam at all.  
"We'll see when we get inside." Gabriel smirked and headed to the restaurant gesturing the others to follow. Sam, of course, ran right behind him.

The restaurant was even fancier inside. There was a big hallway with racks full of very neat coats, Women and men's. At the end of the hallway, there was a man standing behind a counter with a list. Reservation list Dean assumed. After the man, the hallway ended and widened to a big dining hall. The floor was covered with a red wall to wall carpet. The walls were black, but there were these tiny recessed lights on the walls and on the ceiling. They looked like stars in the night sky. There were candles on every table. There were round tables in the middle of the dining hall and next to the walls there were dining booths for bigger groups it seemed. The restaurant was full of people, mostly couples. The place must be very popular. And it really seemed that it was not exactly made for just friends hanging out.

"Okay. I'm going to leave now. This evening was obviously designed for you two only." Dean pointed at Gabriel and his brother. "Which I am very much against. But I'm seriously not gonna stay here and let all these couples make my evening even worse by making me sick." He said.  
"Dean. Why are you always such a jerk?" Sam spoke up. His voice was flooding with irritation.  
"Why are you always such a bitch?"  
Dean replied and made a move towards the doors that led outside. The movie he could handle, but seriously a fancy restaurant full of lovesick couples?  
Sam stopped him and was about to say something, but Gabriel stepped between the brothers.  
"Hey! We're here to celebrate. We're here to have some fun. We're not here for any drama."  
Castiel finally dared to open his mouth.  
"What are we celebrating?" He asked a little confused. Dean turned to Castiel. His head was tilted a bit to the other side. Dean found it incredibly cute which was just weird because Castiel was a grown man and they weren't cute at all if you asked Dean. Well usually.  
"We're here to celebrate the new owner of this place." Gabriel smiled and pointed at himself.  
"So how about we forget that almost fight ever happened and we go eat as much as we want. Good news. It's all on me." Gabriel patted Sam and Dean on the shoulders and guided them all towards the man on the reception. The man led them to their booth and gave them the menus. 

"I'm gonna go to the men's room," Dean said before anyone could sit down. He needed to be alone for a little while.  
"Don't forget to come back," Sam shouted behind him when he walked towards the restroom. 

Dean washed his hands and face with cold water. He thought it might help him cool off. He stood there for a while and heard the door open. Dean lift his head up and saw Castiel standing a couple of feet away from the door. A few little steps and he'd be on Dean's personal space. 

"Hey. Cas. What are you doing here?"  
Dean asked and dried his face with a paper.  
"I just wanted to know that you're okay."  
Castiel looked concerned. He took a step closer to Dean.  
"I'm fine," Dean assured. It was mostly true. He was about to head back to the dining hall and walked past the other man but Castiel grabbed his wrist and stopped him.  
"You don't seem fine. Is there something you want to talk about?"  
Castiel had to be kidding. Did he really think the first person Dean would talk to was a total stranger?  
Castiel's hand was still squeezing his wrist. He wouldn't get his hand out from the grip even if he tried. He turned to face Castiel and they were both quiet for a second or maybe more, just staring at each other.  
"I just don't like your brother." Dean sighed.  
Castiel let go of his wrist.  
"To be honest. I don't think anyone likes him." Cas smiled.  
"Well, except your brother," he continued.  
"Your brother's annoying and he's taken Sammy away from me." Dean continued. He felt like he had no control over his mouth because the words just came out without even much thinking.  
"Sam only spends time with Gabe nowadays. And I only get to spend time with Sam if I go out with him and Gabe. Every time I see your brother I just want to punch him so hard that he will never recover. I mean even his face is annoying. It's just that Sam's always been my best friend, my only friend I guess. And now it seems like he's found a new friend. Which means I have no one."  
"You have me. If you want." Castiel said.  
"I mean we can be friends. I would like to be your friend." He smiled. Dean felt a little better after hearing that.  
"Thanks, Cas. I'd like to be friends with you." Dean smiled. 

Sam took a swig from his beer. They had ordered drinks but were waiting for their brothers to get back before ordering the food.  
"Can't we just order already? I'm hungry." Sam complained.  
"You're the one who told me to wait for them. Of course, you can go get them but I wouldn't be so sure if it's a good idea. You could get traumatised for the rest of your life," Gabriel joked.  
"Haa Haa Haa." Sam glared at the man on the other side of the table.  
"I hope they are done soon or they won't get anything to eat," Gabriel said and gestured the waiter to come to their table.  
"It seriously takes two minutes if you're eager enough." Gabriel winked.  
"Please shut up." Sam rolled his eyes and hid his blush with his hand. A minute later when they were just about to order Dean and Castiel came back. Dean sat next to Sam and Castiel sat on the other side of the table beside his brother.  
"Took you long enough. Make it a quickie next time." Gabe grinned.  
Dean just rolled his eyes and opened the menu.

The rest of the evening went quite well. There wasn't any fighting if you don't count the sarcastic comments and irritating jokes. Dean figured that Castiel was also working for Gabriel. He handled the company's phone calls and arranged meetings and some stuff like that. What sounded like he did almost all of the work Gabriel was supposed to do as the manager of the company. The evening went well and Dean actually didn't mind Gabriel's presence. He seemed to be a little less irritating from what he had been the last time. The best thing though was when they were leaving and Castiel had stopped him outside the restaurant. He had told Dean that he would like to hang out sometime and had given him a napkin with his phone number written on it.


	2. Perfect strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Just wanted to point out that in the story it seems like Castiel has a day off every day so I want to explain that now, as he does have a day off in this chapter too. So as he is working for his brother he gets to be off work if there isn't a rush with the job. Gabriel really supports his brother's hobby and tries to give him as much time as it is possible just for making books and painting. Of course, Castiel works most days, sometimes less sometimes more and often he works early mornings so he can go home earlier. 
> 
> I also want to point out that this is my least favourite chapter and I hope you keep reading after this one as the later chapters are far better than the beginning. I just needed to get them to the level of knowing each other a little bit.

Castiel was in the middle of writing when he heard his phone buzzing in the kitchen. He finished the sentence he had been writing and went to get his phone from the table. He didn't recognise the number. Maybe it was Dean, he thought and answered the call with his stomach full of butterflies.

"Hey. Is this Castiel?" A familiar voice asked little unsure.  
"Yes, it is me. Hello, Dean." Castiel smiled. He hadn't been sure if giving his number to Dean had been a good idea but now that Dean was calling him it didn't seem like a bad one. He had been waiting for this call since he'd given the number to Dean four days ago.  
"I was just wondering if you'd like to go for a coffee or whatever you want?" That's exactly what Castiel had hoped to hear.  
"That does sound good. I probably need a break after writing and painting for several hours nonstop." he chuckled.  
"So is Sunny's good? At 5:30?"  
"Yes, that's fine. See you soon Dean."  
"See you Cas." 

Castiel walked to Sunny's and saw the Impala parked outside. He opened the door that led to the cafe and spotted Dean sitting in one of the tables in the right corner. Dean stood up when Castiel approached him. Dean was looking good. A lot less tense than on Friday. Probably because Gabriel wasn't there.

"Hello, Dean."  
"Hi, Cas." Dean glanced at the empty table quickly.  
"I didn't buy anything yet. I thought I would wait for you?" Dean said.  
"Okay." Castiel smiled. They walked to the counter and filled a couple of mugs with coffee. Dean also took plates from the plate pile for both of them.  
"I'm not gonna eat anything." Castiel pointed out and was about to put the plate back.  
"Dude you have to taste the pie," Dean protested.  
"Besides I'm buying so," Dean smirked.  
"Who said you're buying?" Cas squinted. Dean put pieces of blueberry pie on both plates and took his wallet from his back pocket. Castiel didn't want to feel like he owed someone. That is why he always paid everything himself. Even all of his coffees.  
"I'm the one who asked you to come so I'm buying," Dean explained and gave the money to the cashier.  
"Then I'll buy next time." Castiel decided.  
Dean shook his head and smiled. "Fine. If you really want to."

They walked to the table where Dean had been sitting and they both sat down.  
"So are you a writer? I mean I know you work at Gabe's but you're a writer too?" Dean questioned. Castiel took a sip of his coffee before answering.  
"Yes. I've written a few children's books. It's more like a hobby of mine." Dean glanced at him.  
"That sounds cool. Have you ever thought about writing a novel?"  
"Maybe. I don't know yet. I like writing for children and children don't really read novels. But I could write a novel if I had a good idea for one," Castiel told.  
"So you're like a very artistic person then? I think I also heard you mention painting." Dean actually sounded very interested and that was nice. Most people weren't usually that interested after hearing he wrote children's books, but then again Dean wasn't most people.  
"I paint the pictures on my books."  
"Sounds cool."

There was a quiet moment before Castiel broke it.  
"So where do you work Dean? You have any hobbies?"  
"I work at my uncle's garage. Bobby's. He's not actually our uncle but same thing. He's our dad's friend and me and Sam we've known him since we were born. And I have been working at the garage since I could walk." Dean smiled broadly. "And well I don't really have hobbies. Except that I like to watch movies which you knew already and I also like to read about all these myths and ghost stuff and monsters."  
"That sounds very exciting Dean." Castiel smiled.  
"How about your parents. What are they like?"  
"They're cool. Mom's a doctor and my dad is a teacher. Wouldn't believe that if you first saw him." Dean shook his head smiling. That smile could seriously light up the whole universe.  
"All the kids must hate him. He probably gives them like thousand pages of homework and gives them detention about everything. But he's cool. A little too strict maybe." Dean put a spoonful of pie in his mouth and pointed at Castiel's plate.  
"Seriously just taste it man." Castiel cut a piece of the pie with the spoon and ate it.  
"Mmh" This pie is very good Dean. Castiel took another spoonful.  
"I don't usually eat any pastries." Dean looked at him judging.  
"I just don't think they're any better than normal food." It was true. Castiel didn't care for any kind of food that much. He only ate to stay alive. But there were some foods he did enjoy eating. Like burgers and some very good sandwiches.  
"You know what Cas? How about we cook sometime and I'll teach you how to enjoy real food. Like pie."  
"Okay." Castiel agreed and laughed a little at Dean's definition of food.  
"So now. Why don't you tell me something about your family? I know you have a dick brother, but that's all I know." Castiel was quiet for a moment. He didn't really like to talk about his family. Besides they were having a nice time at the moment and t it would be a shame to ruin it.  
"Well, Gabriel is my family. I think that is all you need to know right now Dean. My family is a little complicated." Dean was obviously trying to search something from Castiel's gestures but probably didn't find anything.  
"Okay. So tell me more about your books then." 

After they had chatted about Castiel's books and where they went to school and had told about their most embarrassing moments Dean insisted on giving Castiel a ride back home so he wouldn't have to walk. Castiel didn't live that far away and tried to tell that to Dean, but it didn't really work. If Castiel was being completely honest he was actually very glad that Dean took him home even though Castiel had told him not to. It gave them more time to chat. Even if it was just for a few minutes. When they arrived at Castiel's Dean escorted him to the front door. It was a little weird and awkward because Castiel wasn't sure if he was supposed to invite him in, but gladly he didn't have to worry about that for long.

"I had a lot of fun. I don't even remember the last time I talked or laughed that much." Dean smiled.  
"I had a nice time too." Castiel agreed.  
"So I guess we could meet again? Next week maybe for lunch or something?"  
"Sounds good. And uh- thank you for the coffee Dean and the pie." Dean let out a laugh with a smile. His smile was gorgeous. He looked at Castiel. Those eyes and that smile, Castiel really hoped at the moment that he could see them every day for the rest of his life.  
"No problem man. Thank you for showing up." Dean glanced at the clock on his arm.  
"I think I should get going or Sammy's gonna call the police after me or something." 

Dean walked to his car and waved at Castiel before getting in. Castiel waved back and watched him drive away. How could he wait until next week? Chatting with Dean had been nice and funny and Dean had actually been interested in hearing about Castiel. And Dean, he was very interesting too. He talked a lot about his family which means his family must be very important to him. He also told about his car. He had rebuilt it with his dad and now it was like a new old car. There was still plenty about Dean Castiel didn't know and he felt like he had to find out everything about the man. 

***

Dean waved at Castiel and got into his car. He couldn't help a chuckle as he pressed his forehead against the steering wheel. Castiel was extraordinary. He was so different from anyone else he had ever met. He was so beautiful and sweet, a little awkward too and didn't get all of Dean's jokes but that was okay. Castiel would end up being his best friend. Dean was sure about that and it made him happy. Sure there was some weird tension between them. You could describe it almost sexual. Dean pushed the thought from his mind and started the car. 

Dean was standing at the entrance of their apartment taking his shoes off when Sam ran there from the kitchen. He had a horrified look on his face.  
"Where have you been Dean?" he gasped.  
"You left work two hours ago. I even called Bobby to check that you are not doing extra hours." Dean rolled his eyes.  
"Really? You sound like mom. I was just outside."  
"You never go outside." Sam crossed his arms against his chest.  
"Well, today I went outside."  
Dean walked into the living room and jumped to sit on the couch. Sam followed him confusion on his face.  
"So where did you go?" he asked Dean.  
"I went for coffee with Cas."  
"Gabe's brother?"  
"You know many Castiels?" Dean asked irritated.  
"No, I just. That's cool. How was it?" Sam was smiling like a dumbass he is. It annoyed the heck out of Dean.  
"It was okay. Now, will you leave me at peace? I've had a long day."  
"Yeah sure. Good to hear you finally found someone you want to spend time with." Sam stood up and left the room.  
Dean sighed loudly and turned the television on.


	3. A flame short of fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So it's important for the couple next chapters that I tell how long Dean and Cas have known each other. In this chapter, we jump four months so they have known each other for some time now. They are still friends :)

"Burgers? Those are my favourite," Castiel said. He looked like he would soon start jumping of excitement around the market.  
"Yeah, you told me that a while back, so I figured why not make them."  
"I could hug you right now Dean. I haven't eaten homemade burgers in years I think. Just those McDonald's burgers which are not even good." It made Dean's heart ache of happiness seeing Cas so excited about such little things like hamburgers.  
"You should've just asked me to make them earlier Cas," Dean said kindly and put the burger buns to the shopping cart.  
"I can't just ask you to make me food Dean," Castiel said seriously and glared at him.  
"Why not? I'd be more than glad to be your personal chef."  
"I doubt I could afford you." Castiel grinned. Dean nudged him on the arm with his elbow.  
"That's probably true." They walked to the dairy products section and Dean picked up a packet of cheddar. 

They were on their way to the cashier when they heard a shout from their left.  
"Dean Winchester?" A dark-haired woman couple of feet from them asked.  
"Lisa? What are you doing here? I thought you moved to New York?" The woman came at Dean and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. When she let go she smiled brightly and started talking.  
"Yes, I did. But it was more than ten years ago. I'm moving back here in a couple of weeks. I'm staying with my parents until that. So you've been living here the whole time? And it seems like you've also met someone." Lisa smiled and turned to Castiel.  
Dean watched her offer her hand to Castiel.  
"I'm Lisa. Dean and I went to high school together," she said.  
Cas shook her hand and introduced himself.  
"Castiel. I'm a friend of Dean's." Lisa's expression shifted to a little confused.  
"You're friends huh?" Now Dean was confused. And what you could see from Cas' face well he seemed a little baffled too.  
"You think I'd come shopping with some stranger?" Dean joked.  
"No. I just nothing. You know it would be really nice to catch up sometime." Lisa smiled.  
"Why don't you come make burgers with us right now?" Lisa was quiet for a moment observing Castiel who was not as excited as he had been a while ago.  
"I don't know," Lisa said.  
"I'm kinda busy for the rest of the day but I could give you my number and maybe we could go for a coffee some day." Dean nodded. Lisa took a piece of paper and a pen from her handbag and wrote her number on the paper. She gave it to Dean with a smile.  
"I think I'll get back to my groceries and let you two go."  
"It was nice meeting you Lisa," Dean said.  
"You too and Castiel." Lisa waved and disappeared to the other direction.

***

"So you're gonna slice the onions and the other stuff which is all there," Dean said pointing at the bowls filled with tomatoes and onions and salad.  
"And I'm gonna make the patties." Dean took a knife from one of the drawers and gave it to Castiel. He started slicing one of the tomatoes immediately.  
"Just don't cut them too thick," Dean noted as he watched Castiel's work.  
"I know how to slice a tomato," Castiel said.  
Dean started frying the patties.  
"Lisa seemed nice," Castiel stated. "When you were at school were you just friends or?" Castiel glanced at Dean. He knew that if Dean said they had been just friends he would be obviously lying. Lisa was a very beautiful woman and knowing a thing or two about Dean, Lisa was very much his type.  
Dean cleared his throat and flipped the patties on the pan.  
"We uh- We were friends most of the time we knew each other but during the last year of high school maybe a couple of months before she moved we tried being more than friends," Dean answered.  
"Didn't really work out because she moved to New York."  
"Do you think you could fall in love with her again?" Dean dropped the spatula on the floor.  
"What? Dude. No! I mean I don't think I ever even loved her, to be honest. It was always more like a friendship." He raised the spatula from the floor and threw it in the sink.  
"Can you hand me another one from the second drawer?" Castiel found a clean spatula and gave it to Dean.  
"I'm sorry Dean I didn't mean to pry. I just tried to- I don't even know. I hope I didn't ruin our evening. I can be very...well curious." Dean raised his head. He didn't look mad. Thank god. The last thing Castiel wanted was to make Dean angry.  
"It's fine. Why don't you go see what Sam and Gabe are doing? I can finish the food and come get you guys in a while." Castiel didn't say anything for a few seconds. Had he upset Dean? Maybe he just needed a while alone.  
"Okay," Cas agreed and went to the living room.

***

"I'm going to Gabe's for the night," Sam said. Dean almost choked on his burger and started coughing. Castiel quickly offered a glass of water to him. Dean drank it and glared at Gabriel who was laughing.  
"Is that a problem Dean?" Sam asked frowning. Dean coughed one last time and answered.  
"No. Of course not. Just- I why?"  
"We thought you and Cas probably wanted to be alone."  
"Why'd we want that?" Dean asked and saw Cas' face fall a bit.  
He turned to Castiel.  
"Was this your idea?" Castiel looked hurt and confused at the same time.  
"What makes you think that?" Castiel asked calmly.  
"I don't know. Maybe you wanted to pry more into my past?" Dean argued. Castiel's face shifted to an angry one. He seriously looked so angry it was actually pretty scary. He stood up.  
"You can't be serious right now. I wouldn't have asked about Lisa if I knew it was such a big deal. And I have no intentions to pry into anything Dean." Castiel took his plate and glass and set them on the counter next to the sink.  
"Thank you for the dinner," Castiel said and walked to the lobby to get his coat. Dean could be so infuriating sometimes and Castiel was so not looking for a fight to have so it was probably better if he just left.

"Way to go Dean-o," Gabriel said leaning back in his chair.  
"I'm still going to Gabe's because I can't stand your face right now."  
Sam ate what was left of his burger and stood up with Gabriel.  
"Thanks for the burgers," Sam said and they left the kitchen.  
Dean ate his burger and didn't even bother to clean the tables after.  
Why does he always ruin everything? Now that he was alone he felt bad about the things he had said he didn't really want to hurt Cas, but he had been so annoying that he had just snapped. Dean decided to call Castiel and apologise. He went to the living room and dialled Cas. He waited, but it went to voicemail. Well crap. Cas was angry at him and probably didn't want to see him ever again. That was not an option and it really hurt to know that the man was angry at him. Dean didn't want him to be angry at him. It just felt wrong. Dean went to the lobby and grabbed his jacket. Then he ran downstairs and to his car. 

***

There was a knock on the door. Castiel walked through the living room to the door. He should probably get a doorbell. Not that it really mattered if he didn't have one because the house was so small you could easily hear a knock too. He opened the door and Gabriel barged inside. "Do come in," Castiel said surprised after his brother. Sam stepped in and smiled awkwardly. That's what Dean would've done too.  
"Hi, Cas. You don't mind us checking if you're okay?" Castiel smiled.  
"Of course not. Just leave your jacket somewhere and go sit on the couch or you can come to the kitchen or whatever. I'm gonna make coffee. Gabriel had already disappeared to the kitchen. Sam followed Castiel and they found Gabriel searching the cabinets as well as the refrigerator.  
"There are cookies in the cabinet on top of the dishwasher." Castiel helped. "But leave some for Sam too." Sam and Gabriel both sat down at the table and Castiel started preparing coffee. 

"So. Uh- you okay, Cas? You left in a hurry and you seemed really pissed." Sam asked. Castiel turned to face him from the other side of the kitchen and leant on the counter.  
"I'm fine, Sam," Castiel assured.  
"I know how my brother can be. I just hope you won't be angry at him for long. Dean really seems to like you." Castiel turned to take three mugs from the cabinet behind him.  
"I am not angry at your brother Sam."  
"Oh. Okay. That is good to hear." Castiel poured coffee into the mugs and then carried all three of them to the table. Before he sat down beside Gabriel he took a can of milk from the fridge and set it on the table. Neither Sam or Gabe took it so he poured it into his own coffee.  
"Who's Lisa?" Gabriel asked and bit down on his cookie. Castiel raised his gaze from the mug to Gabriel.  
"Just asking. She was the reason for your fight. Am I wrong?"  
"She's a friend of Dean's. Old girlfriend actually. I don't know really."  
Castiel mumbled and took a sip of his coffee. There was a knock on the door again.  
They all three looked at each other questioning.  
"Are you waiting for someone?" Sam asked. Castiel stood up.  
"No. I'm not." He squinted and went to the door. Sam and Gabriel came behind him to the living room too. 

Castiel opened the door. Dean was standing outside. He smiled slightly at Cas. "Hey, Cas."  
"Dean?" Castiel looked at him surprised and also confused.  
"I noticed Gabriel's car."  
"He's here with Sam," Castiel said. "Do you want to come in?"  
"I actually hoped we could talk alone. If that's okay?" Dean asked.  
"Of course." Castiel smiled. He grabbed his coat from the coat rack and put it on.  
"Just umm- make yourselves at home. We'll be back in a while."  
"Yeah suuure," Gabriel said as Castiel stepped outside. Dean smiled at him.  
"Let's walk," Castiel said and led the way. They walked along the road that led to town and Castiel felt a huge need to take Dean's hand and hold it in his forever. But it was Dean. He would just freak out and their friendship would be ruined forever. It was a bit cold, it had rained earlier and the sun was setting quickly. Dean stopped next to him. Castiel turned to his friend.  
"I'm sorry Cas. I'm sorry that I got mad at you and accused you of such stupid things. I'm just really private with things you know. I'm sorry that I'm such a crappy friend. I just wanted to be good to you and eat with my friends and have fun but instead, I just ruined everything. I hope you can understand that I don't feel comfortable sharing everything. Especially when it comes to my feelings."  
Castiel took a step closer.  
"We haven't known each other for that long so it is understandable to lack trust so don't worry about it. You're the best kind of friend I could ever have, Dean."  
"So we're okay?" Dean smiled.  
"Sure we are." Castiel smiled wickedly. "If you make those burgers for me again sometime."  
Dean let out a laugh. "Whatever you want sir, whenever you want."


	4. Inspire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy to have noticed you have liked the story so far.
> 
> There is a little bit of texting so
> 
>  
> 
> **Dean**  
>  _Castiel_

It was a beautiful Christmas morning, a little chilly but sunny. Dean opened the car door and sat down next to his brother. They were on their way to the yearly holiday lunch of the Winchester's. Their mother would always invite some close friends and family to celebrate Christmas. When they were kids it used to be only Sam, Dean and their parents, but since they moved out from their parents house more than ten years ago the traditions have changed and now it's a bigger party with Bobby and his wife, Ellen and Ellen's daughter Jo and of course their Grandparents would join them too. The ones that were alive anyways. Their father's parents had died in a car accident when Dean was 2 years old. They never even got to meet Sam.  
Dean took his phone from his left pocket to send a message before starting the car. Sam glared at him and sighed loudly.  
"We're going to be late."  
"It's Christmas we are the only ones going to be driving anywhere. We'll make it on time." Dean assured and started the car after shoving the phone back into his pocket.

Dean was right on one thing. The roads were empty as people had gathered to the city centre for Christmas carols and lights and parades. The rest were celebrating in their houses like the Winchesters. Sam was right on being late. Despite empty roads, Dean was not able to drive a twenty-minute drive in less than fifteen minutes. When they parked in front of their parents' house their grandparents' car was already there just like Bobby's.  
"How is it that we are always the last ones to arrive?" Sam wondered with a sarcastic tone.  
"Simple. Everyone else is always way too early." Dean winked and saw Sam roll his eyes as he got out of the car.

As soon as they had rung the doorbell their mother was at the door inviting them in with a big hug. "Welcome and Merry Christmas my dear boys. Take off your jackets and come meet the others in the living room. I have to hurry to the kitchen." Mary smiled and quickly sneaked out of the doorway.

They set their jacket to the hangars and Sam led them to the living room. Bobby and Ellen were sitting on the couch next to the Christmas tree that was decorated with red and golden ornaments like every year before. Their father, John was standing next to the fireplace telling a story about the school Christmas party. Their grandmother sat on the piano stool sipping red wine. Their father noticed Sam and Dean come to the doorway and smiled brightly.

"My boys. Haven't seen you in a while. Merry Christmas. Sit down with us."  
"Hi, dad," Dean said. Sam smiled and sat down next to Bobby.  
"So where's our grandfather?" He asked.  
"Jo's missing too," Dean added glancing at Ellen.  
"Jo is spending her Christmas with Victor," Ellen answered.  
"Oh yeah true. I heard they got engaged." Dean smiles.  
"Samuel is in the kitchen helping your mother." Deanna smiled at Sam.  
"Speaking of engagement. Have you boys met anyone worthy of a ring these past few months?" She continued.

Both Sam and Dean made a choking noise. For what Dean knew Sam was basically in a relationship with Gabriel. Not that either of them admitted it yet or ever would. And well Dean himself was still waiting for something magical. He didn't really date either. Lately, he had been feeling like he had everything he needed at the moment. He was happy living a single life, hanging out with his friends, sometimes with Lisa, other times with Sam and Gabriel, most of the time with Castiel. Sure he wouldn't mind having more physical relations but for some reason every time he tries to hit on a random girl it feels wrong. So, he hardly does it anymore. 

Sam didn't say anything. He looked at Dean petrified. Pleading for him to say something.  
"Well you know Sam, he works a lot. No much time for dating. For me uhh. Well, I believe if I'm meant to be with someone we'll find each other even if we're not looking to find each other. So you could say I'm waiting for the right one while enjoying the time of my friends." Dean chuckled nervously.  
"You both still have time. No worries." Bobby assures. Bobby himself had lost his first wife at 30 years of age. It took many years before he met Ellen and they got married when Bobby was 55 years old.  
"It's good that you have found good friends. Just a few months ago I and your mother were worried sick because you never saw anyone." John patted Dean on the shoulder.  
"But tell me you and that Lisa girl really just friends?" he continued.  
"Yes, dad. Nothing more there now nor will ever be."  
"I thought you've been seeing each other quite often now that she's back in town." Dean looked confused.  
"Well not really. Just a couple of times."  
"It's a shame she seemed like a wonderful girl back in the day."  
"Still is. But just as a friend." Dean shifted.  
"Well, I'm going to go check if they need help in the kitchen." John put down his beer.  
"Keep an eye on the elderly." He added and walked out of the room.  
"Elderly," Bobby grunted with a frown. Sam started chatting with the others about work. Dean took his phone in his hand and light the screen. 

 

10.47 **Still up for a small Christmas celebration?**

New messages 

11.22 _Totally. Just text me when you are back from the Christmas lunch._

11:28 **We should be able to leave around 6 pm**

 

Dean was surprised to see Cas online immediately after sending the message.

 

_11:28 How's it going so far?_

 

Dean sneaks out of the living room and downstairs into his old room.

 

11:32 **Well, we're done with the inquiry about if we are dating or not.**

11:32 _Why would they think we are dating._

11:33 **Oh sorry no I meant the interrogation about my love life and Sam's love life. lol :) but it's going okay.**

11:33 Oh right. Of course. Shouldn't you be chatting with your family?

11:34 **Sam is entertaining them at the moment. Besides I can't escape them when we start eating so I have to do it now. Don't worry they will have plenty of time to torture me. How's your Christmas morning?**

11:34 _Quite boring_.

11:34 **Well don't worry tonight won't be boring. Have you heard from Gabriel? Sam tried to call him this morning to confirm if he's coming.**

11:35 _Well he started baking early and he has been preparing my house for a "proper Christmas". So yes he will be here when you arrive._

11:36 **Okay I'll tell Sam. We'll probably make a detour and grab a few things from home before getting there but I'll text you when we leave our parents house. See you later Cas.**

11:36 _See you later. Have fun with your family._

Dean smiled as he returned to the living room. He couldn't wait to meet Castiel. They had agreed to spend the Christmas eve with each other and Sam and Gabriel. Castiel had told Dean he didn't celebrate Christmas much and would be happy to have some company besides his brother.  
"Hey, Sam. Gabe has been busy preparing Christmas at Cas' house so he hasn't heard his phone but you wanted to know if he's going to spend the evening with us the answer is yes."  
"Okay. Cool" Sam said and made room for Dean to sit on the couch. 

The rest of the day passed quickly. Dean had eaten himself so full he could hardly walk. Their mother was an amazing cook and so was their grandfather. Dean cleaned the table with the help of his brother while the others were back to the living room. A soft piano melody waved on the background as they set the leftovers into the fridge. Their mother came to the kitchen and quietly watched his grownup boys clean up the tables. Mary then sat on one of the stools.  
"Thank you for cleaning everything up," she says.  
"Thank you once again for an amazing Christmas, mom." Sam smiled and hugged his mother.  
"Next time we are having dinner together you should bring Castiel and Gabriel. I would like to meet the people who have stolen my boys from me." Mary laughs.  
"You have already met Gabriel," Sam says a little confused.  
"Well yes. But that was almost a year ago. He has been your best friend for two years now. Don't you think I should know better what kind of people my kids spend most of their time with."  
"Well to be honest Gabriel is kind of a creep." Dean jokes. Sam shoots him with an angry look.  
"But Cas is great so no worries," Dean smirked.  
"Cas is great huh? Well, that makes me want to meet him even more." Mary said fascinated.  
"Take it easy mom. Don't you think it would maybe scare off my friend if I asked him to meet my mother?"  
"Well I don't know him so I can't say. " Dean rolled his eyes.  
"We'll think about it, mom." Sam smiled awkwardly and stepped on Dean's toes.  
"I also happen to know Gabriel isn't a creep so don't call him that Dean." Their mother winked at Sam. Dean couldn't help but wonder if she knew something that he didn't.

***

Castiel was straightening the angel on top of the Christmas tree when there was a knock on the door. He saw Gabriel run out of the kitchen and to the front door. Gabriel greeted the brothers and let Dean walk past. Castiel noticed the mistletoe on Gabriel's hand and couldn't help a slight turn upwards on his lips. Dean lowered his jacket on the chair and stepped forward right in front of Castiel. He took a small present wrapped in red shiny paper from his shirt pocket and put it under the tree on top of another present. 

"So how are you doing after a long day with the escaped elf of Santa?" Dean asked referring to Gabriel.  
"Well better now that you two are here. Gabriel has been running from room to room the whole day. I offered to help earlier with the baking but he just told me to go write a book. It has been a bit nerve racking but I survived," Castiel sighs.  
"And I got to decorate the Christmas tree." He smiled proudly.  
"You did a good job." Dean chuckles. 

Sam wobbled to them bright red. Both Dean and Castiel stared at him pressuring for a while.  
"I just came to say 'Hi' to Cas" Dean looked at Sam suspiciously. Castiel had been concentrating on Dean the past two minutes but was sure he knew the reason for Sam's awkward behaviour. Dean, on the other hand, hadn't noticed the mistletoe at all.  
"I think Gabriel may have pranked Sam a little," Castiel whispered to Dean as Sam's eyes were searching the room.  
"Well, he sure did something," Dean agrees. 

The three men move to the kitchen where Gabriel is setting the table. The kitchen counters are full of small snacks, both salty and sweet. Mostly sweet snacks. Castiel watches Dean's eyes wander through every plate as surprise fills his face.  
"I didn't know Gabriel can do any of this. I mean this looks like one of those friggin five-star bakeries they show on tv." Dean turns to Castiel.  
"Is this the reason why you hate pastries? Gabriel feeds you with pastries only?"  
"I never said I hate them. And normally I make my own food so Gabriel doesn't feed me with anything." Castiel replied little confused.  
Dean nudges him with his elbow. "I was just trying to tease you both a little." It felt like a tiny bolt of lightning on his arm.  
Gabriel gestured them to take seats. 

***

After some snacks, they played Monopoly while drinking eggnog. Well, they only drank one portion each as no one but Gabriel liked it. Dean had this annoying way of playing Monopoly. He would buy literally every property he could. Later in the game, everyone needed a property from Dean but he would only sell or trade them really expensive. As the game was getting longer and longer Castiel decided to make a really bad deal with Dean and soon everyone was losing their money. Dean did end up winning and everyone blamed Castiel. 

"It's getting pretty late," Sam yawned. Castiel checked his watch. It was almost midnight. Time just flies with good friends, he thought.  
"Yes, it seems. Maybe we should see what's under the tree if you are going to leave soon?" Castiel stood up with the Monopoly in his hands and walked to the living room where he put the game on the bookshelf. Gabriel walked to the Christmas tree and picked up a medium size packet with green wrap and handed it to Sam.  
"Merry Christmas employee of the year!" Gabriel smiled. "And sorry about the earlier. Thought it would have been funny." He added sheepishly. Sam tore off the paper and under the wraps, they could all see a new briefcase. It was black and in the front, there were Sam's initials written with silver pieces.  
"It's amazing. Thank you, Gabriel." Gabriel then gave Castiel a big heavy packet. It was a typewriter with a post-it note. Castiel read it quietly. "For your future novel." He looked at Gabriel amazed.  
"This is the best thing you have ever gotten for me. I am very happy. Thank you."  
"Last but not least. Dean-o!" Gabriel handed Dean an envelope. He looked surprised like he hadn't been waiting to receive a gift from Gabriel. It was a gift card to the music store nearby.  
"Thanks, Gabriel. I didn't realise you know me so well." Dean laughed and pat Gabriel on the shoulder. 

Gabriel got a Watch from Sam. So "You could be at work on time for once". Answered by some mumbling about being the boss. Dean gifted him a book on how to run your own company. There were a few laughs at that. Castiel gifted both Sam and Gabriel with new ties. Dark red silk tie for Sam and a golden silk tie for Gabriel.  
"Let me guess. I'm getting a tie too." Dean suggested. Castiel shook his head and gave him a flat beautiful white packet with red ribbon and Dean's name on top. Dean opened it and revealed a book with two guys sitting at a cafe on the cover. The other one looked like him. Green eyes and a leather jacket. The other one had blue eyes and an old trench coat like Castiel. This one was made with pastels.  
"That is the only copy." Castiel smiled. Dean was reading through the pages.  
"I thought you painted everything." Dean looks stunned.  
"I usually do but I wanted to try something new. Do you like it?" Their eyes locked and Castiel could see Dean looked very content with his gift. Dean then approached Castiel and wrapped his arms around him.  
"I love it."  
Dean handed Castiel the small red packet. It was a jewellery box with a necklace inside. A small triangle shaped pendant with a strong silver chain. Castiel put it on and smiled.  
"It's called the blaze. I thought it would look nice on you." Dean states. Gabriel glances at him raising a brow but keeps quiet.

Before ending the night Castiel received the last present, from Sam. It was a stack of normal white paper and acrylic paints. Gabriel had probably given a hint about the typewriter and the paints too as they were the ones Castiel always used. They exchanged last feelings about the gifts and moved towards the door.  
"I had a great Christmas evening. Thank you for coming." Castiel admitted while Dean and Sam put on their jacket.  
"Thank you for having us and Gabe, the pie, it was amazing," Dean says. Gabriel winks behind Castiel. They all wave at each other as Sam and Dean exit the house. 

***

Before Dean goes to bed he reads the short book from cover to cover multiple times. In the pictures, the guys are smiling brightly and sharing looks. They are sitting in a movie theatre then a restaurant and cafe, a car, a bench in a park, they are standing in front of a house, they are shopping for food, sitting in a bar, cooking, playing video games. All Dean's happiest memories from past months drawn into a book just for him. There is a warm feeling in Dean's chest as he closes the book and sets it on the night table. He shuts down the light and closes his eyes. He is so lucky to have met Cas.


	5. Take me up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed that in a lot of these chapters Cas and Dean are hanging out with their brothers so I made an extra chapter with just Dean and Cas. The thing is I'm not sure if it fits the rest of the story as it turned out to have some sexual content that I basically hadn't planned writing yet...I guess I managed to fit it here and after many days of wondering if I should post it, here we are. Also changed the rating from mature to explicit :)
> 
> Reminder:  
>  **Dean**  
>  _Castiel_

It was Saturday night and Sam was out of town with some of his old college buddies. Dean was wondering if he should call Cas. He was about to die of boredom. Earlier that evening he had thought about going out for a drink but had decided to stay home. He didn't feel like being surrounded by strangers. Castiel was not a person who would spend his weekends outside so he was almost certainly at home. That did not mean Cas couldn't be busy. Dean decided to send a message just in case his friend was in the middle of something important. He didn't want to interrupt anything.

20:12 **How's your Saturday?**

Dean stared at the message he had sent for a moment and changed to another application. Scrolling through the news feed he thought about how he had changed. When he was in his twenties he used to spend every weekend out partying with strangers and he even had a few friends. Well, maybe not friends but people he hung out regularly. Now his weekends consisted of meeting his parents or hanging out with Sam (and Gabriel) or Cas. That twenty-year-old party Dean would be so disappointed, he thought. A notification popped on his screen and Dean stopped thinking about his younger years.

20:16 _My Saturday is fine. I am watching Star Wars as you suggested I should. I am almost done with the first film or fourth. The first film that is the fourth one of the series._

Dean chuckled. 

20:16 **Okay. Good. How are you liking Star Wars so far?**

20:16 _It's good. But to be honest it feels like I'm watching a very long movie._

20:17 **So in other words...boring?**

20:17 _Well I wouldn't say-.Yes. It is a bit boring._

20:17 **So I was actually texting you because I am bored too. Do you want to come to hang out at our place? I got beer and movies, games, food. Just missing the company.**

20:18 _Yes, sure, why not. I'll be there a little after nine._

Dean had prepared some pasta and bolognese before Castiel's arrival and they ate in the living room where the tv was. Castiel hadn't finished watching Star Wars so they started the night with finishing the movie. It was far more interesting to watch with Dean's commentary. Castiel was especially fond of the comments of Han Solo fanboy that Dean wasn’t even trying to hide.  
"I agree with you he is very good looking. I could watch the second movie just for his sake." Castiel said at the end of the movie. 

Dean took their plates to the kitchen and came back with another two beers.  
"I know you don't enjoy beer much so just say if you want something else." Castiel took the beer anyhow.  
Dean didn't sit down, just set the other beer down and jumped to the other side of the room.  
"I just remembered. I have some of my favourite liqueur here. You have to taste it." Dean held up a round shaped bottle and took two small glasses from the same shelf. He sat down next to Castiel and poured both glasses half way.  
Castiel hesitated as he took the glass in his hand and smelled the drink. Strong smell of alcohol with a hint of berries. It did smell quite sweet. He looked at Dean suspicious. Dean just grinned back and took a sip from his own glass. Castiel brought the glass to his lips and drank. It was good. The taste of alcohol was a bit too strong. It would be better with some juice, he thought.  
"Raspberry liqueur. Quilty pleasure." Dean stated, still waiting for his friend's response to the drink.  
"I like it more than beer." Castiel took another gulp. There was a glint in Dean's eyes that said 'I just had an idea'.  
"We should play a drinking game. I haven't done that in ages." Castiel raised his brows at the suggestion.  
"Like beer pong? I'm really bad at beer pong." Cas confessed.  
"No.No. Not necessarily. I was thinking something like truth or dare." Castiel thought about it for a little while.  
"Maybe we can just ask questions. I feel like I don't know much about you besides the basic stuff. I mean for best friends we know quite a little about each other. Right?" Dean continued.  
"So what are the rules?"  
"Well if you want to make some lines we shouldn't cross with the questions now's the time. But basically, you ask me a question I ask you a question if we don't want to answer we drink." Castiel finished his liquor and looked at Dean challengingly. He was pretty sure he didn't need any lines. Castiel was confident that he could tell Dean all his secrets. He pushed his glass towards Dean.  
"Fill it up then."  
"I happen to know you get real drunk from three beers so don't skip too many questions. First one to pass out is a loser and has to pay our next bar bill." Dean offered his hand to seal the deal. Castiel shook it and agreed with a nod.

An hour and a half later they were both quite drunk. Dean had started with some really embarrassing questions that Castiel had passed so he'd drank quite a bit in the first fifteen minutes. Castiel hadn't dared ask questions like his friend so Dean hadn't really drunk as much but just for the fun of it he tried to keep up with the drinking and took a sip from time to time. 

"I can't believe you've actually done that!" Dean shook his head laughing.  
"Well in my twenties I did have this phase when I searched myself through many experiences and tried many things you would never believe I have done. I haven't always been this boring."  
“Yes but an orgy and psychedelics.” Dean looks at his drunken friend. Cheeks slightly red from his confession, Castiel chuckles looking at his feet. Dean can't help but sigh at the beauty.  
“I am an artist after all.”  
"Well, it's your turn." Castiel thinks for a second before asking "How do you feel about Lisa at the moment?". Dean shrugs his shoulders.  
"Lisa is pretty great. I like her. I think me and her we are pretty good friends again. It's nice." Castiel felt uncomfortable with the answer.  
"I mean it's good to sometimes have some other company besides you guys and my family." Castiel wondered if Dean felt the same way about Lisa as he felt about Dean.  
"But yeah. I don't think I could feel anything else than friendly feelings for her. If that's what you were asking," Dean said. It wasn't enough to assure Castiel completely. Still, he decided to push it out of his mind. He was with Dean now. He wanted to have all the fun he could.

"Okay, my turn. What kind of porn do you like?" Castiel couched at the question.  
"Oh come on you've already told me about your sexual encounters with both men and women. You can tell me this." Castiel wondered for a while if it really was normal to know about their friends' fantasies and sexual encounters but came to realize he knew everything about Gabriel's sexual life and in his past he had talked quite openly with his school friends. He could do this.  
"Nothing special. Sometimes I like to watch some binding stuff. Usually, I just watch basic fucking between two hot people. It's enough for me." Dean grinned. "Binding huh. Kinky bastard." He punched Cas on the shoulder.  
"You ever done that yourself?" Castiel shook his head. Dean pictured himself blindfolded, hands bound behind his back. Castiel caressing his back before slamming into him.  
"Dean." He glanced at Castiel red-faced avoiding his eyes.  
"Yes? I-You were saying?"  
"I was asking if you wanted to continue the game." Talking with Castiel about their sexual preferences and sexual history had made him hornier than he had realised.  
"Or we could watch some porn," Dean blurted out before really thinking. Castiel's jaw dropped and he looked very shocked and stressed about the idea. Dean realised it had been a very bad idea to say that out loud.  
"I was just joking," he laughed nervously. Castiel joined him after a few seconds.  
"Yes. Of course." Castiel buried his face in his hands embarrassed. Dean moved his hands on Castiel's thigh. Castiel raised his look breathing heavily. Dean's hand was tingling where it touched Castiel.  
"Should we call it a night?" He smiled at the blue eyes. Castiel didn't want to leave yet. Even with all the awkwardness this night had contained it had been great. Dean's hand felt so right on his thigh. He just wanted more of everything.  
"Or we could watch some porn." It was Dean's time to be shocked.  
"I didn't get to know what kind you like." Dean just nodded his head and went to turn on the tv. Neither of them said anything as Dean switched to the browser and to an adult film site. Dean sat on the corner of the couch before pressing play to a video. Castiel shifted to the other corner. He could hardly breathe. He was so excited but felt like this was so wrong. Maybe the fact that this was so wrong made this so damn exciting. Castiel looked at the screen petrified. A brunette girl was being tied down to hooks on a wall by a big muscular man. Castiel swallowed. His throat felt drier than it had been a while ago. He felt weird about not being able but to think him and Dean in their place. Tying Dean up and pushing him hard against the wall while bringing his hand to rub it against Dean's hard cock. Castiel took his glass from the table and emptied it at once. Dean gave him a quick glance. 

They were both obviously nervous. Dean looked Cas empty his glass before settling back to lean on the couch his palm over his crotch. Dean was painfully hard but wasn't sure if he would dare do anything about it when Castiel was right beside him. Dean looked at the woman squirm on the screen as the man finally penetrated her. Dean peeked at Castiel again from the corner of his eye. Cas looked uncomfortable as he was slightly shifting on the corner searching for the least uncomfortable position. The face of a man desperate to touch himself was all it took to make the decision. Dean opened his belt. He noticed Castiel look at his way and then quickly turn away. To be honest, Dean would have liked his friend's eyes on him as he moved his hand down to press his dick. As he grasped it and started stroking, he shut his eyes and continued imagining his previous fantasy about being tied down on the bed, Castiel fucking into him.

Castiel heard Dean open his belt and quickly looked if he had heard right. He had. Castiel whimpered as he thought about Dean touching himself. If Dean was okay with jerking off in his presence then he would be okay with doing it in Dean’s presence. Castiel opened his pants. He heard Dean moan next to him. His moans sounded just as hot as he had thought. Yes. This was not the first time Castiel imagined fucking his best friend. He had had plenty of time to think about Dean when he wasn't with him. Most of the time he felt too bad to do anything about it but this time was different. Castiel closed his eyes and started rubbing himself. The video on tv kept playing but both men had shut their eyes to see their own shows. Castiel grunted moving his fingers to tease his balls.  
"I want you to look at me Cas." Castiel froze for a second at the words but did turn his head to look at the other man. His eyes lingered at Dean's eyes and then moved his gaze to the cock that was firmly gripped. Castiel couldn't hold it anymore and came to the sight of Dean touching his leaking cock. Few seconds after Castiel heard a groan full of pleasure.

The two men sat there in the living room drunk and filled with pleasure. After some time Dean got up and turned off the tv. He went to the kitchen to get some paper and threw some at Castiel. Dean walked into the bathroom to clean himself up. Dean offered that Castiel could have stayed the night but Castiel said he would take a taxi home.  
"Will you message me when you get home? Just so I know you're safe." Castiel nodded and left the apartment.  
Before dozing off Dean received a message.

_I had a nice evening. I'm home safe. Good night._

They didn't speak of that night after.


	6. The dark in need of light

It had been almost eight months since Castiel had met Dean. During those eight months, they had become best friends. It had started with going for a lunch couple of times a week when they had an hour off from work. Soon they had started seeing each other also after work. And this past month they've seen each other every day. They've gone for dinner and for coffee and to the movies. They've also been hanging out with Sam and Gabriel once a week. All of that has actually transformed into a habit. Castiel's never felt this kind of happiness in his life. Every minute with Dean makes him feel even happier and he feels like he's probably going to explode or something, he's hooked on that happiness. Hooked on Dean.

It was Friday evening. Castiel was sitting in a local nightclub with a beer in front of him. He checked the clock on his phone. Dean was late. He was never late. Well maybe sometimes but not more than five minutes and it was 6:30 pm now which meant Dean was thirty minutes late. Castiel drank the end of his beer and left from the back door which led to an alley. He took his phone from his pocket, chose Dean's number from the contacts and swiped the screen to the right. The phone beeped a couple of times before Dean answered.  
"Hey. Cas."  
"Hello, Dean. Where are you?" Castiel answered with a smile. It is weird how just by hearing someone's voice your mood can lighten up in less than a second.  
"Crap." And then one word can make you feel like shit.  
"Look man. I'm so sorry I totally forgot we were supposed to meet tonight." Cas felt something inside of him twist.  
"I'm at Lisa's she needed help with moving all his old things from her parent's house."  
"Oh."

Dean went to high school with Lisa and they met at a grocery store about four months ago. After that, the two of them have been hanging out from time to time. Yesterday Cas had called Dean and they'd agreed to go have some fun because it was Friday after all. And it had been a week since they had seen each other because they both had been busy with work and Dean had helped his parents with some renovations. But now it seems like Dean wants to spend his Friday with Lisa and not with Castiel.  
"Well, if you're done soon I could wait here," Castiel suggested.  
"I don't know how much longer this is going to take. I really think we should do this another time. I'm really-"  
"It's fine Dean," Castiel said coldly.  
"I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm-"

Castiel threw his phone against the brick wall and saw the battery and other parts fly around. For a while, he just stood there but then he felt his legs fail him and he was on his knees sobbing. He missed Dean a lot. His laugh and jokes and eyes and everything. Why did it hurt so much? Dean had just forgotten their meeting. It's really not that big of a deal. Except it is. He was at Lisa's house right now probably waiting to get laid. The thought made Castiel sob even harder. Shouldn't he be happy for Dean? He's his best friend aren't they supposed to be happy for each other. Cas felt no happiness. Just anger and disappointment. How could he let himself feel like this? He didn't want to lose Dean, but it would probably be the best for both of them. He couldn't let himself fall any more for Dean or he could never let go. Castiel stood back up and dried his face with his sleeve. He was being ridiculous. He should go home and figure this out tomorrow. He walked back inside and ordered another beer which soon changed into shots.

"So who was it?" Lisa smiled and handed a beer to Dean.  
"It was Cas." Dean sighed and took a swig of the beer.  
"You had a fight?" Lisa asked. She sat down on the couch next to Dean. Dean glanced at Lisa and rolled his eyes.  
"Like you never fight with your friends." He mumbled.  
"So what did you do to upset him?" Lisa asked raising her brows.  
"What makes you think I did something?"  
Why was everyone always assuming Dean was the one upsetting people. It's not like he even could upset them when he's home alone. Except for this time, he wasn't alone and he wasn't at home and he actually was the reason why Cas was upset and very angry at him again. Lisa stared at Dean until it became too oppressive and Dean had to say something.  
"We were supposed to meet tonight. Go for a beer. I forgot. You happy now?" Lisa smacked him on the arm.  
"Ow! What the hell?"  
"You're lying! Tell me the truth."  
"I'm telling the truth!" Lisa raised her hand as a threat.  
"Okay! I didn't want to go!" Lisa lowered her hand and looked at Dean. There was a silence before Dean continued.  
"I really need to spend less time with him." That was true even though he didn't really like the idea of being apart from Cas.  
"These past few weeks I've seen him every single day and now that I haven't seen him in few days I feel like there's something missing. I shouldn't feel like that. And every time I go home after meeting him the feeling's there until I'm with him again and that feeling, I hate it. I really don't want to feel this way about Cas. I mean he's my friend. It's just wrong." Lisa hugged Dean.  
"Dean. It's not wrong. Besides Cas is a cool guy and he understands. Maybe you should ask how he feels. Everyone around you can see that he pretty much adores you. You should tell him how you feel." Dean pushed Lisa away gently.  
"I can't Lisa."  
"Then you should at least go visit him and tell him you're sorry."  
"Yeah, I guess I'll do that tomorrow." Lisa stood up.  
"Or you could go see him now."  
"No."  
Lisa lifted one of the boxes from the floor and sighed.  
"Okay. I'm not gonna make you but if you're not going you're gonna help me with these boxes and you promise me you'll go apologise to Castiel tomorrow."  
Dean put his beer on the table and walked to grab one of the boxes.

***

Sam was reading in his room when he heard the doorbell. He lay his book on the bed and lumbered to the door through the kitchen. He opened the door and was ready to give a lecture about keeping his keys with him to Dean. Outside the door, there was no Dean but there was Castiel. Very drunk looking Castiel.

"Hi. Cas? What are you doing here? Are you drunk?"  
Castiel moved inside and looked at Sam frowning.  
"Is your brother home? I need to speak with him."  
"No. Dean's not home yet. I thought he was with you." Sam said confused.  
"So he must still be at Lisa's." Castiel almost fell down but Sam grabbed him before he could hit the floor. Castiel struggled himself out of Sam's grip and leaned against the wall.  
"I came to tell him that I don't want to see him again. I don't need him in my life."  
Sam could see something was really wrong.  
"You don't mean that Cas," Sam said.  
"I think you should sit down and think about this for a while. Clear your head."  
Castiel stumbled furiously past Sam to the living room.  
"No Sam. You don't understand. Your brother is killing me! And if I don't stop seeing him now. I won't be able to do it ever and I will always want more knowing I can't get that!" Sam could see the tears falling down Cas' cheeks. He was shaking and unstable.  
"I love being with Dean more than anything but I can't do this. It's slowly breaking my heart and I'm afraid if this goes on too long there will be nothing left of it. I'm so stupid for not realising this earlier." Sam felt really bad for Cas. He had noticed that Dean and Castiel had some kind of bond. It had been there since they first met. He knew they cared about each other very much and Castiel was not the only one who had feelings like that. If Castiel was being serious about not seeing Dean anymore it would break Dean. Sam knew it would. And if Dean could see Castiel right now, well, it would make Dean feel sick for doing this to him but also just because they were always feeling the same way. If Castiel was happy then Dean was happy. If Dean was angry then Castiel was angry. 

"Cas. I think you should sit down. I'm gonna get you a glass of water and then I'll call Gabe. Okay?" He walked to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. Then he went back to the living room and gave it to Cas who was now sitting on the big couch. Castiel drank the whole glass and then gave it back to sam.  
"Thank you, Sam. You're a good friend." Castiel said and leant on the couch. He closed his eyes and Sam watched him for a while.  
"That's what friends are for." He said and walked back to the kitchen. He set the glass on the counter and sat down to the table. Then he dialled Gabriel.  
He answered almost immediately.  
"Hello. I was waiting for you to call hon," Gabriel said. Sam could hear the smirk on his face. A little smile rose on his face but it was gone very fast.  
"Hi, Gabe. Your brother's here. He's drunk."  
"Is he okay? What's happened? Should I come and get him?" Gabriel asked worried. It was probably the first time Sam had heard Gabriel being worried about anything.  
"I guess he's already passed out on the couch. It's probably best if he stays here the night. But you could come in the morning for a coffee and also get him at the same time. And uh I'm not really sure what happened. He did say something about Dean but I really have no idea what's happened." Sam sighed.  
"Ok. Just call me if something happens and you need me to come there."  
"Yeah. Of course."  
"And also tell your brother that if he hurt my brother in any way he's never gonna see him again."  
"I really don't think it's that serious."  
"Better not be," Gabriel muttered.  
"Look I'm gonna go make sure Cas's fine. Good night Gabe."  
"Okay night Sam. And thanks for taking care of him."  
Sam ended the call and went to check on Castiel.

***

Dean stepped inside. It was quiet. There was light coming from the kitchen which meant Sam was probably still awake. He walked to the kitchen through the living room but stopped. Someone was lying on the couch. Dean walked a little closer and saw who it was. A little smile rose on his face as he ran his hand through the man's hair gently. Then he moved to the kitchen. Sam was sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading a book.  
"What's Cas doing here?" Dean asked quietly. Sam lifted his gaze from the book to Dean.  
"He came here earlier. Never seen him that drunk. He passed out on the couch." Dean felt a lump in his throat.  
"Any idea why he was drunk?" Dean asked. Shifting nervously on his place. Castiel doesn't get drunk. He hardly ever even drinks.  
"Maybe you should ask him in the morning," Sam said stiffly.  
"You guys are gonna have to talk anyway."  
"About what?"  
"Dean. Cas's a mess. You should've seen him when he came here." Sam sighed.  
"Just please don't ruin this Dean. He's your best friend."  
Dean felt really bad. It couldn't have been because of the earlier. He had just forgotten their meeting. Except he hadn't forgotten. Anyways it wasn't that big of a deal.  
"I'm going to bed Dean. Gabriel is coming in the morning. And you really should talk with Cas. Good night."  
"Night Sammy." Dean watched Sam disappear into his room. He went to his own room and took a clean t-shirt from the closet and changed it on. Then he took off his jeans and climbed under his blankets. He could take a shower in the morning. 

***

Dean woke up to the noise from the bathroom next to his bedroom. It was still dark so it probably wasn't much more than three. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was 1:50 am. So he had only had an hour of sleep. He got up from the bed and faltered to the bathroom. What he found was Castiel sitting on the floor beside the toilet. He could hear little sobs coming out of the man. Dean kneeled quickly on his side. And put his hands on Cas' shoulders. Castiel leant away from the touch like he was afraid of Dean or something. 

"Cas. Are you okay?"  
"Go away, Dean." Castiel cried. He buried his head between his knees and hands and continued sobbing.  
"Cas. Tell me what's wrong." Dean said. He needed to hear why was Castiel acting like this so he could fix it though he probably knew the reason. Even the thought that he was the reason for Cas hurting so bad made him feel sick.  
"Please, Dean. Go away." Castiel tried to sound angry but didn't quite manage. Dean wrapped his hands around him.  
"I won't leave until you've told me what's wrong and how I can fix it."  
Castiel tried to push Dean away but Dean just kept hugging him. Eventually, Castiel stopped struggling and buried himself in Dean's arms.  
"I just missed you so much, Dean." Castiel sobbed to his shoulder. "And when you said you weren't coming I just felt so bad because I wanted to be with you but you were with Lisa and I just- I just." Castiel continued sobbing while Dean stroked his hair gently. Hearing that actually hurt physically so much that Dean himself almost started crying.  
"It's okay Cas. I'm here. I'm so sorry. I didn't know it would make you so mad. I'm sorry Cas." Dean whispered to Castiel's neck.  
"I'm sorry Dean. Please don't leave."  
"I won't. Ever. I promise."

They sat there Castiel buried in Dean's arms until it was all quiet and there were no sobs. Just the noise of them breathing.  
"Cas?"  
"Yes, Dean?"  
"You should take a shower." Dean laughed.  
"You think so?" Castiel asked. He sounded better now. He let go of Dean and got to his feet. Dean stood up too.  
They stood quietly and Dean reached the collar of Cas' shirt with his hands. He slowly unbuttoned the first two buttons without turning his gaze away from the other man's eyes. He unbuttoned the others too and tucked the shirt until it fell down. Dean's eyes moved to look at the lean body and the strong looking arms. Castiel was so beautiful. He looked back up and couldn't help the blush rising on his face. He quickly turned to look at the door.  
"I uh. I'm gonna go get you a towel." 

When Dean came back Cas was already in the shower. He put the towel on top of the toilet and went to the living room. He was lying on the couch almost sleeping when Cas came from the bathroom.  
"Dean. I was thinking if you could lend me a clean shirt." He asked sheepishly. Castiel was carrying most of his clothes on his hands. He was only wearing boxers. "There's puke on mine." It was difficult to process any word that came out of Castiel’s mouth when he stood there shower fresh, almost naked.  
"Of course. You need anything else?" Dean said and got up from the couch.  
"No. I don't think so." Castiel said.  
Dean walked quickly to his room trying to avoid accidentally staring at Cas again. He got a t-shirt from his closet and threw it to Castiel. It was the one he had worn when they met for the first time.  
"Thank you, Dean."  
Castiel put the shirt on and was about to leave the room.  
"I can take the couch. You could sleep on my bed. I mean you shouldn't have to sleep on the couch. It's very uncomfortable." Dean said. Castiel turned to face him. He should wear more t-shirts Dean thought. The t-shirt was a size too big for Cas but it looked good. Very good. Not that Dean didn't like Cas' sweaters and button-ups those were nice too.  
"Dean. You're not sleeping on the couch." Castiel sighed.  
"You're not sleeping on the couch either."  
"Dean-" Castiel started but Dean cut him off before he could say anything else.  
"We could share." Castiel looked at Dean with widened eyes.  
"I mean there's plenty of room on my bed."  
"Ok." Castiel agreed.  
They shut the lights and went to bed. There was a gap between them but Dean could feel the other body next to him. He couldn't sleep. He tried but he couldn't. It was over 3 am already. Castiel shifted beside him.  
"Dean?" Cas whispered.  
"What?"  
"Would you mind if I come closer?" Cas asked. Dean was silent for a few seconds.  
"It's fine. I'm cold anyway." Castiel leant against Dean and wrapped his body around him. Dean turned his face to Castiel and ran his thumb gently across his cheek. Castiel smiled and closed his eyes.  
"I really am sorry Cas. For not showing up at the bar tonight."  
"It's fine Dean. Just please don't do it again."  
"I won't." Dean watched Castiel for a while but soon they were both asleep.

***

Dean lowered his phone on the kitchen table. No missed calls no new messages, nothing. It had been four, almost five days since he'd heard from Cas. There hadn't been any kind of connection between them since that night. When Dean had woke up Cas had already left with Gabriel. He's tried calling Cas a million times and he's left messages but Castiel has not answered. Sam and Gabriel have seen each other daily so if something would've happened to Castiel he'd know. Cas is just ignoring him. Which is totally understandable.  
Sam offers him a mug of coffee. Dean takes it and thanks his brother.  
"You should probably give Cas some space. You try calling him like ten times a day. It's pretty obvious he doesn't want to talk to you if he doesn't answer a single one."  
"I should go check on him." Sam glares at Dean and hits him with a magazine.  
"Are you even listening to me, Dean?"  
"Why the hell is everyone always abusing me?" Dean whines rubbing the back of his head.  
"Maybe because you're being such a dick all the time and someone needs to get some sense into your skull somehow." Sam seems pissed off so Dean decides to listen. Besides his brother is actually pretty smart with all kinds of stuff, people for example. Not that Dean would ever admit that out loud. Sometimes listening to Sam can actually help.  
"You should just wait until Cas contacts you. I'm sure he will do that soon. Maybe not today, but I'm sure he will. Just give him some time." Dean nods.  
"Have you spoken to Cas?" He asks and drinks his coffee.  
"No. He's been quite busy working. Painting. That's what Gabe told me. He visited Cas yesterday. Took some papers for him to handle. He hasn't been to the office since last week." Cas was probably making a new book and painted pictures for it.  
"I still think I should go see him."  
Sam sighed.  
"Well if you're going then at least apologize and buy him a dinner or something."  
"Of course. Yes. Why don't I also go pick up some flowers for him." Dean said sarcastically.  
"Dean. Seriously!" Sam raised his voice.  
"Yeah yeah. I'll buy him dinner."

***

Castiel had just finished the last painting for his book. He was washing the equipment in the kitchen. He'd been painting for four days now. After washing the equipment, he went to check on his phone. Two phone calls from Dean. Castiel felt a little guilty for not answering any of Dean's calls, but he had wanted to finish the book so he hadn't really answered anyone. Except for yesterday when Gabriel had sent him a message telling he was coming over. Castiel had sent him a message back saying no. Gabe visited regardless, bringing him more work. He would call Dean later in the evening and deal now with the papers Gabe had brought. Castiel walked into the living room and sat down at his desk where he had left the papers. He was searching for a pen when he heard a knock on the door behind him. Castiel sighed and stood up.  
"I swear if it's you, Gabriel..." Castiel raised his voice and went to open the door. It really couldn't be anyone else. Castiel was surprised when he found out it was not Gabriel.  
"Hiya, Cas."  
"Hello, Dean." Dean was the last person he'd expected it to be. But then again Dean had tried calling him about 50 times this week so it was just a matter of time when he would come and see him.  
"You know this is harassing. Calling me every ten minutes and now coming to my house." Dean shifted uncomfortably.  
"I was actually-"  
"I was joking." Castiel smiled and opened the door whole so Dean could step inside.  
Dean came in and chuckled a bit at what Castiel had said.  
"You have like the worst jokes."  
"I have heard that before." Castiel walked into the kitchen. Dean didn't move.  
"Do you want something to drink? Coffee, tea?" Cas offers from the kitchen.  
"It's fine. I don't need anything." Castiel walked back to the living room.  
"Please, Dean sit down or whatever you want. My home is your home." Castiel smiled.  
Dean took his shoes off and went to sit on the couch.  
"So I was not interrupting anything? Sam said you've been working." Castiel sat down beside Dean and nodded.  
"Yes, but I already finished the book and I have not started filling Gabriel's papers yet. You did not interrupt me at all Dean."  
"Good. That's good to know." Dean smiled but then started nervously fumbling with his sleeve and looked down.  
"I was a bit afraid you'd still be mad at me. I almost didn't come. Sam told me I should wait until you contact me." Dean looked uncomfortable. It seemed like he was scared that Cas would say something that would hurt him. Something like 'Yes I am mad. Go away.' but he wasn't mad and he wanted Dean to stay. Castiel had been so put up with his work that he'd just ignored the fact how much he had missed Dean and now Dean was here. He was not going to say anything that would make Dean leave.  
"Well, I was going to call you tonight anyway. Besides, I most certainly am not mad at you. Why would I be? I was drunk and I overreacted. It really wasn't such a big deal and I'm sorry I made it into one." Dean looked at Castiel.  
"No. You don't have to apologise. I'm the one who made a mistake. I'm the one who acted like a jerk." Castiel patted Dean on the thigh.  
"We all make mistakes and act like jerks. That is just part of being human." Dean looked at the hand squeezing his leg.  
"Yeah. Thanks, Cas." Dean smiled. Castiel moved his hand on his own lap. Dean almost grabbed it to pull it back but gladly he didn't. That would've been super weird.  
"So Cas. I would like to offer you a dinner if you want to go out for one."  
Castiel stood up.  
"I have a better idea." He grinned.  
"Yeah what's that?"  
"Why don't we eat here." Dean stands up.  
"Sounds great. So what do you have in mind." They walk to the kitchen and Castiel takes a packet of minced meat from the refrigerator and throws it on the counter.  
"I have that." Dean raises his eyebrows amused.  
"Right. Um- anything else?"  
"I have salad from yesterday."  
"Mm-hm" Dean nods. "Do you have spaghetti?" Castiel opens a cabinet behind him and takes half empty spaghetti packet from there.  
"Is this enough?" He hands it to Dean.  
"Yeah. So you want meatballs or what?"  
"I don't know." Castiel shrugs. "Meatballs are good."  
Castiel starts going through the cabinets for bowls and kettle.  
"I'm just gonna go hang my jacket I'll be back in a sec," Dean says.

"We have about forty minutes before the food is ready," Dean says and puts the pan into the oven.  
"We could open a bottle of wine and go sit on the couch or something," Castiel suggests.  
"That sounds good except that I don't drink wine."  
Castiel chuckles. "Right. Of course. I should have known. I may have a few beers in the refrigerator." Castiel walks to the fridge and hands a beer for Dean.  
"Thanks."  
Dean walks into the living room while Castiel stays in the kitchen and pours himself a glass of wine. He'd like to go see the other rooms but that would be rude. He had visited Cas a few times before but he'd never seen the rest of the house. Dean sits on the couch and Castiel joins him after a few seconds.  
"So, What would you like to do?" Castiel asks.  
"Do you have any games? Other than Monopoly or scrabble."  
"I have playing cards."  
"Great. A couple of rounds of poker then." Dean says enthusiastically. "I mean if you want."  
"Yes. Why not." Castiel stands up and goes to his desk that is behind the couch.  
"We could put some music on." Castiel proposes as he searches through the drawers of his desk for the cards.  
"Sure."  
"You can choose." Castiel gives the laptop from the desk for Dean and goes back to searching the drawers.  
"Connect it to the stereos that are connected to the television."  
"I can do that." Dean sets the laptop beside the television and connects one of the cables to it. He opens the top.  
"Password?"  
"Gabriel is an assbutt, all non-caps and no spaces." Dean chuckles and types it down.  
"What's your favourite song at the moment Cas."  
"I'll tell you if you dance with me." Castiel turns to Dean and smirks smugly.  
"What?"  
"It's fine you don't have to. You'll just never know my favourite song. Not that you would really care about knowing it."  
"Okay." Dean agrees. Damn it. He probably wouldn't be able to say no to Cas if he asked him to jump off the roof.  
"What is it?"  
"Saturn by Sleeping at last" Castiel states. Dean types it fast on the laptop and puts it on.  
Castiel walks to Dean and takes his hands. Dean winces but lets Castiel draw him closer. There was a weird feeling in his stomach. Like the feeling he'd had the first time he'd asked a girl on a date. He felt insecure and that was not a very familiar feeling. Dean swallowed loudly. Castiel was staring right into his eyes. It was actually comforting. Weird. You could think that would make things worse.  
"Relax, Dean." Castiel smiles and pulls their bodies together.  
"Wow. I eh-"  
"Close your eyes and listen," Castiel says sternly.  
Dean did as he was told and closed his eyes. He slowly travelled his hands to Castiel's hips mirroring the other man's movements. They swung slightly from side to side with the music. Dean's mind went along with the music and he became more relaxed. He lay his forehead against Castiel's.  
"I like this song. It's very you." Dean says quietly. Castiel brings his other hand to feel Dean's neck. He stiffens a little under the gentle touch and Castiel moves his arms to hug him.  
"Who's the one harassing now?" Dean smirks.  
"You agreed to dance with me. Stop complaining."  
"I'm not complaining." Castiel moves his head on Dean's chest.  
"Then shut up." Dean chuckles. He really hoped this wouldn't make things weird between them. Friends don't usually dance with each other this way. Do they? This is just going to make them even closer. It's like getting to know each other in another way. Right. You keep telling yourself that Winchester. Just listen to the music and don't start panicking. It's okay to get close to people.  
"Dean?" He opens his eyes. Castiel is looking at him concerned. They are not so close to each other anymore but Castiel has one hand on his shoulder.  
"You're shaking. Do you want to sit down?" Dean lowers himself on the couch. Dean takes his beer from the table in front of him and takes a long swig.  
"Do you want to tell me what's up?" Castiel asks.  
"Everything's fine," Dean assures. "Got a little dizzy that's all." Castiel glanced at him suspecting but let it go. Or at least kept his mouth shut about it.  
"Did you find the cards?" Dean questioned.  
"No, I must have lost them. Or they could be on one of those drawers. I really should clean them. They're full of stuff and there is zero order."  
Dean looks around. The bookshelf is large. There are literally more than a hundred books.  
"Are any of those yours?"  
"All of them." Dean glares at the other man. Castiel smirks. What a joker.  
"Yes. There are few that I have written."  
"Can I see?"  
"Of course." Castiel stands up and takes a little blue book from the shelf. He gives it to Dean. On the cover there are two birds one that is a little darker, it has grey and black feathers and a light brown, almost goldish bird.  
"That is my personal favourite."  
Dean reads the little book quickly. It is about two birds, the other, the brown one is an older bird that teaches the younger black bird to fly.  
"The book is for very little children. They usually make them with those very thick pages that can't be torn. I wanted my own version to be like this. It is far more pretty with proper pages."  
"It's very beautiful." Dean smiles.  
"But doesn't babies usually like more colourful pictures and you know pictures with fewer details."  
"Probably. I don't know." Dean hands the book to Castiel.  
"Anyways it's a great book. The pictures are nice. Maybe not for babies though." Castiel stands to take the book back to the bookshelf.  
"Do you only paint for the books?"  
"No. I've made a few bigger paintings that I've framed."  
"Nice." Castiel turns to Dean but stays quiet.  
"The food's probably ready," Dean speaks and gets up.


	7. Dance in desire

Last night Cas had called Dean and asked him and Sam to come with him and Gabriel to the summer house he and Gabriel owned. Dean had agreed and now all four were sitting in Gabriel's car on their way to the summer house. Dean, of course, would've wanted to go with his baby, but everyone else preferred Gabriel's car to the Impala.  
Castiel had told Dean that the house was pretty far from the city and there weren't many people who lived around there but that was pretty much all he had told. He sure hoped it wasn't one of those little one room cabins which didn't even have electricity.

Dean was staring out of the window. The view had long ago changed from tall buildings to trees and fields. There were nice old houses here and there but there was a lot of land between them. He turned to see Sam sleeping on the shotgun seat. He also noticed Gabriel glancing at Sam with a smile on his face.   
"Eyes on the road," Dean said. During the time, he had spent with Gabe and Sam he had become aware that Gabriel really cared for Sam. Maybe more than a friend should. But he was okay with it. And if he was being completely honest it was the same with him and Cas. It had been since their first coffee together. Every second he spent with Cas was happiness and every second without him was devastating and that is why he tried to be with Castiel as much as he could. 

"There's the store." Castiel pointed out of the window on Dean's side with a smile on his face. There was a little store and also a pharmacy and a gas station. "It's the only one around here. The closest ones after that are the ones in the city." Dean could see how excited Cas was and it made him smile. They shared one of those long eye to eye looks they had been doing since the first time they met.   
"I like it when you smile," Castiel said. Then he stopped smiling and turned away to look out of the window on his side. That has also been happening. Castiel says something nice about Dean and then he's all weird for the rest of the day.

Castiel was looking out of the window. Mostly to hide his face. He had not just said that to Dean. Why would he say that? Why was he freaking out? It wasn't even that big of a deal.  
For a while, Castiel felt like he couldn't breathe. He had to get out of the car. This whole trip was a bad idea. He knew spending a weekend with Dean in the same house would only make things worse. He knew he shouldn't spend so much time with Dean because it only made him want to spend more and more time with him.   
"Hey, Cas? You coming?" Sam asked before he slammed the car door shut.   
They had parked in front of a yellow house which was very familiar to Castiel. Everyone else was already heading inside. He got out of the car and took his backpack from the trunk and headed inside with the others. Castiel went straight downstairs to his room and locked himself in there.

Dean followed Sam and Gabriel inside. The house was made from wood and it looked quite old. The house didn't look so big from the outside. They stepped to a little lobby and to their left was a doorway to the dining room. The floor was wood too and the place looked as old from the inside as it had looked from the outside. They left their shoes to the lobby and went through the dining room to the kitchen. Dean saw Castiel disappear from the lobby to downstairs before following Gabe and Sam to the kitchen. The dining room was kind of a living room without a tv and also a dining place at the same time. There was a big dining table in the middle of the room and couch and two armchairs on the sides of the room. There was also a fireplace and next to it a desk and a bookshelf. Whereas the kitchen was probably the only modern room. The floor was of stone and the electronics were all new and the cabinets were new too. It looked like the kitchen had been rebuilt almost fully.

"So you guys are gonna have to share that room." Gabriel pointed at the closed door on the other side of the kitchen.  
"Unless Sam wants to sleep with me."  
"I think I'll pass," Sam said and went to the room.  
"Maybe next time then." Gabriel winked.  
Dean just ignored the whole thing and followed Sam to their room.  
There was two beds on the other sides of the room and a closet against the wall between the beds. Opposite the closet, there was a big tv with ps3 and Xbox.   
"I'm gonna take this bed," Sam said and threw his bag on the bed closer to the door. Dean lay his bag on the other bed.   
"Did something happen in the car Dean?" Sam asked. While taking his stuff out of his bag.  
"Nothing happened. Why?"  
"Well, Cas was a little weird when we got here. He just disappeared somewhere and he was quiet. Didn't say a word."  
"I guess he just went to unpack or something," Dean said and left the room.

Gabriel let Dean do the cooking. He made salmon with caesar salad and mashed potatoes. Gabriel had asked him to do something for dessert so he got raspberries from the freezer and made white chocolate mousse with them. During the time he had been cooking Cas hadn't come back upstairs. When Dean had set the table and the dinner was ready he decided to go ask Castiel to eat with him and Gabriel and Sam.   
He hadn't been downstairs yet. At the end of the stairs, there was a door that led outside. The hallway continued to the right and then there was a little hall and straight ahead was the bathroom on the right was the toilet and the utility room. The door on his left had to be to Castiel's room. Dean knocked on the door.   
"Cas? You in there?" Dean asked quietly. He heard some moving from the other side of the door. Then a click and the door was open. Castiel stepped out of his room and closed the door behind.  
"Do you need something?" Castiel asked looking at his feet.  
"Yeah. I- Do you want to come to eat with us?"   
"I'll be there in a minute." Dean watched Castiel disappear into his room again and then he went back upstairs.

Castiel walked upstairs. His stomach was hurting because he hadn't eaten anything after breakfast. He went to the dining room. The table had been set and the food smelled and looked amazing. But there was no one in the room so he checked the kitchen. Nobody there. He knocked on Sam and Dean's door. No answer. Castiel heard the outdoor open. He walked to the lobby and saw Dean standing there. "I was looking for Sam and Gabe." Dean closed the door behind him.   
"Seems like they left somewhere. The car's gone." Castiel nodded.   
"So you want to wait for them?" Dean walked into the dining room and Castiel followed behind. "Or we could just eat now." Cas said and sat on one of the chairs. Dean sat on the one beside him and their arms were touching. There was a lot of space where Castiel could move to make more room for them but he didn't and neither did Dean. Dean filled both of their plates and they ate quietly arms touching almost the whole time.  
"This is very good Dean. You're probably the best cook I know." Castiel said and put a forkful of food into his mouth.   
"Thanks, Cas." They continued eating.  
"Are you gonna lock yourself into your room now?" Dean asked after a while. Castiel looked at the man a little confused. Dean didn't raise his gaze from the plate, but he looked sad.   
"What do you mean?" Castiel asked and pushed his plate away.  
"Every time you say something nice to me you get all weird and today is a very good example of that." Dean was looking at Castiel now.   
"It's not like I'm gonna get mad at you if you tell me that you like to see me smile but I will get mad at you if you keep acting like this." Castiel turned away from Dean.  
"Friends don't say that kind of things to each other." He said.  
"How'd you know. I'm probably the only friend you've ever had." Castiel felt angry.  
"And what makes you think that?" He snapped.  
"Nothing. I just- I didn't mean that. Besides has our friendship been normal at any point?" Dean buried his face in his hands. They were both quiet for a while. Dean looked back at Castiel.  
"I just want you to act normally Cas. I'm okay with you complimenting me. You can say anything you want and I'll be fine with it. You shouldn't be ashamed of saying what you think. It makes me happy to hear you like the things I do." Castiel felt the other man's warm hand on his face. He turned to look at Dean. He looked so sincere and worried.   
"I'm sorry Dean." Castiel apologised and wrapped his arms around Dean.  
"Nothing to be sorry about. Just promise me you stop avoiding me because it makes me feel like you're mad at me and I can't stand the thought of that." 

There were steps behind them.  
"You love birds left any food for us?"  
Gabriel walked into the room with Sam who was smiling like a little girl who just got a new doll. Dean and Castiel quickly separated and turned back to their food. Sam and Gabe sat opposite their brothers and started filling their plates.  
"I and Sam were thinking if we'd go to the place with the rapid and the pond. We could take something to eat with us and we could swim and spend the day there."  
Gabriel said.   
"I think that's a good idea. What do you think Dean?" Castiel smiled.  
"Sounds like a plan." Dean agreed.  
"So where were you guys?" Dean inquired.  
"Gabe showed me this nice camping place. It's not far. Maybe we could go there too on Sunday before we head back to the city." Sam told them excited.  
"Yeah. That'd be cool."   
"Have you got any plans for the rest of the evening?" Castiel asked.  
"We're gonna watch a movie in my room," Gabriel announced. "Or did you have something planned for all of us?"  
"No. Just asked." Castiel finished his food and took one of the dessert bowls from the middle of the table. Dean had already finished his dessert too. Castiel ate the mousse and raspberries quickly enjoying every spoonful.   
"This is like- like heaven." He said and finished the dessert. Then he stood up and took his and Dean's dishes.   
Dean stood up too.   
"Do you need help with those?"   
"No. Just sit down," Castiel commanded and walked to the kitchen. Despite what Castiel had just said Dean followed him to the kitchen.  
They set the dishes into the washer quickly. Castiel closed the washer and leant against it. A smile rose on his face as he watched Dean stand there hands in his pockets.   
"What?" Dean asked. He looked so cute and innocent when he was confused and Castiel just loved that.   
"Do you want to watch a movie with me?" Castiel asked still smiling.  
"Sure."

Dean followed Castiel downstairs. Castiel's room was small. There was a bed which filled almost half of the room and on the right side of the door there was a fireplace and on the left, there was a big tv on the wall and under it a shelf with ps3. Castiel set the tv on and grabbed the controller from the top of the ps3. Dean watched him sat down on the bed and lean against the wall. Castiel was searching through something and Dean just stood there and watched him.   
"You know you could just sit down." Castiel chuckled and patted the empty space next to him. Dean walked closer and sat down on the bed next to Cas.  
"We don't have any DVDs here but we can watch something from Netflix," Castiel said. "Is there something you'd like to watch?" Dean shook his head.  
"You can choose. I'm okay with everything."   
"So Titanic it is then." Dean looked at Cas judging.  
"Dude no."   
"Didn't you just say you're okay with everything," Castiel asked seriously.  
Dean just rolled his eyes and grabbed the controller from Castiel.  
"I was joking Dean." Castiel laughed.   
He tried to take the controller from Dean but Dean raised his arm so Castiel couldn't reach it.   
"I'm not gonna give this back. You might put on some other crappy teenage girls' favourite movie like I don't know The Fault In Our Stars or something. I don't trust you anymore." Dean grinned. Castiel looked at Dean suspiciously.  
"You so went to see that to the movies."  
"I did not!" Dean protested.  
"I bet you even read the book," Castiel smirked.   
"I did not." Dean frowned and chose a movie from one of the lists.  
"We're gonna watch Star Trek." Dean heard a chuckle beside him and nudged at Cas with his elbow.  
"Assbutt." Castiel murmured. Cas seemed a little more relaxed now. It was good.

They had watched the first movie and were now in the middle of the wrath of Khan. Quite many times Dean had found himself not concentrated on the movies at all but concentrated on watching Castiel's expressions, on his hands when he moved them, his chest which was moving slightly as he breathed and his hair which was curled nicely from some spots and was pointing up from other places. Mostly he had just ignored the voices from the tv and listened to the other man's breath and the things he said during the movie.   
"Cas." Castiel turned to face Dean.  
"Is everything okay?"   
Dean smiled. He felt like he could drown in the blue eyes and into the way Castiel always looked at him like he was worried about him even if there was nothing to be worried about.  
"Dean?" Dean felt a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head to clear his mind.  
"Everything's fine. I just- Are you hungry?"  
"A little," Castiel answered and paused the movie. 

They walked quietly upstairs in case Sam and Gabriel were already sleeping. They walked past Gabe's room to the kitchen.  
"So what do you want to eat?" Castiel asked?  
"Whatever."  
"There's bread." Castiel opened the fridge. "And there's still some left of the dinner you made."  
"Can we make pie?" Dean asked.  
"Pie?" Castiel asked a little amused.  
"I guess we could make some pie." He said.  
"Awesome." Dean smiled.  
"So what do we need?" Castiel asked eyeing the inside of the refrigerator.  
"Do you have any more berries? I used the raspberries." Dean said.  
"There might be some cherries downstairs in the freezer. I can get them if you find all the other ingredients by yourself." Castiel closed the fridge and headed back downstairs to the utility room. He got a bag of cherries from the freezer and went back upstairs where Dean was searching through the cabinets.   
"You found everything we need?" Castiel asked and set the cherries on the table with the other ingredients.  
"Yep. Now we just have to mix these in the bowl. Except for the cherries. You could actually smash them."  
"Okay."  
Dean started mixing the ingredients and Castiel put the cherries into another bowl and smashed them. They worked quietly and soon they had gathered the ingredients into a delicious looking pie which was baking in the oven.   
"Looking good so far. Let's hope it tastes as good as it looks."   
"I bet it tastes as horrible as all the other food you've made," Castiel said sarcastically. Dean slapped his arm and it left a floury handprint on Cas' shirt. Castiel looked at his arm.  
"You shouldn't have done that," Castiel said with a voice even lower than usual. It made Dean shiver. Castiel glared at Dean and grabbed the bag of flour from the table. He put his hand inside and threw a handful of flour at Dean.   
"C'mon that's not fair," Dean complained and grabbed the empty bowl and set it on the sink and started filling it with water.  
"Dean. What are you doing?" A wide smirk rose on Dean's face. He pulled the bowl from the sink and held it in his hands.   
"You're not seriously thinking of-" Coldwater hit Castiel's face before he could finish.   
"You're gonna regret that." Castiel threatened and attacked Dean pouring the flour on him. Soon they were both on the floor covered in flour.   
"What the hell is going on here?!" Gabriel was standing on the doorway in his red satin pyjamas with Sam. They both looked like they had just woke up and they totally looked angry. Castiel and Dean both looked up and stopped the wrestling.   
"We're baking," Castiel answered.  
"Baking?! In the middle of the night! This kitchen better be clean in the morning and you two better shut the fuck up for the rest of the night. There are people who want to sleep." Gabriel shouted. Dean and Castiel stood up quickly.  
"Yeah. Sorry. We'll be quiet."  
Dean assured. holding a laugh. They waited until Sam and Gabriel were back in Gabe's room before they said anything.  
"Did your brother and my brother just?" Dean whispered.  
"Yes."   
"Okay." Dean turned to Cas. The man's hair was wet and full of flour which had turned into a sticky paste. His clothes were also covered in flour so you could only see white. Dean looked at his own clothes which were floured too. He let out a laugh.   
"I hate you sometimes."   
"You started this," Castiel argued.  
"Besides. You don't hate me." He smiled. "So do you want to go take a shower first? I could clean this up while you're showering." Dean nodded and went to get his bag from his and Sam's room.

Castiel cut two pieces from the pie and set them on the plates he had just taken from the cabinet. He had cleaned the floor and the tables and he had tried to clean himself up a little too. He heard steps from the stairs and in a second Dean was in the kitchen. His hair was still wet and his face was a little flushed. He was wearing a blue t-shirt and grey sweatpants.   
"Shower's free," Dean said eyeing the kitchen.   
"You cleaned everything already." He walked towards Cas.   
"I'm very fast." Castiel smiled. Dean raised his hand on Cas's chin and wiped a spot of flour away with his thumb.   
"You did miss a few spots." Dean chuckled.   
Castiel leant back and smiled awkwardly.  
"Well, I was planning on getting rid of the rest now." He walked past Dean and out of the kitchen to the downstairs. Castiel walked quickly to the bathroom and locked the door behind. He leant his back against the door and sat down. Castiel sat a while trying to calm himself a little. His whole body was trembling. "Fuck." He groaned and stood up. He knew the bulge in his pants wasn't going away. He'd tried waiting many times before but it never worked. Castiel started removing his clothes and folded them on the table on his left. Then he stepped into the shower and closed the curtains. He turned the shower on and felt the cold water on his back quickly turn to warm. He ran his hands through his hair getting it away from his face to the back. He was still not very fond of the idea of getting off while thinking about his best friend. Especially when Dean was upstairs and he'd have to confront him after. But it was getting harder and harder to think about anything else but getting his release so he wrapped his hand around himself. Pictures started flashing through his closed eyes as he stroked himself. Conjoined mouths, green eyes, whispers in his ear, Dean's hands all over his body. He let the images fill his head. Their lips parted and Dean lowered himself to his knees. He took Castiel into his mouth. Castiel kept stroking himself but the image was too much and soon he was coming. He wasn't sure if he was crying or not because of the water but he did feel like he was going to cry. A little whimper left his mouth as he rubbed his face with his hands. "I'm so screwed." Castiel whispered and grabbed the shampoo from the shelf.

Castiel entered the kitchen. Dean was leaning on the counter eating a piece of the pie.   
"You don't mind I started without you?" Dean asked.  
"Of course not." Castiel smiled. "Is it good?"  
"Delicious," Dean said and ate the last of his piece. Castiel walked closer and took his own plate from the counter.   
"You want to take the pie downstairs? We can eat it while we watch the movie."   
"Dude yes!" Dean said and took the pie and his plate and followed Castiel downstairs.   
They sat down on the bed and set the pie between them. 

Dean ate three pieces more before he was full. They watched the movie quietly. Time to time they glanced at each other when the other didn't notice. The next time Castiel did glance at Dean, he found the other man leaning on his shoulder eyes closed. A smile rose on Cas' face. He should probably wake Dean up. But he couldn't get himself to do it. He moved Dean's head from his shoulder carefully to lean on one of the pillows and then got up from the bed. He took their plates and the little piece of pie that was left from the bed. He went back to the kitchen and put the dishes in the sink and the pie into the fridge. He went back to his room. Dean hadn't woken up. He climbed into the bed.   
"Hey, Dean." Castiel whispered. "You're missing the movie."  
"What movie?" Dean turned around and groaned.   
"Star Trek." Castiel chuckled.   
"I've seen 'em all," Dean whispered. Castiel poked him on the shoulder, but he was already back asleep. Castiel turned the tv off. Guess it wouldn't be so bad if Dean slept here with him.


	8. Chapter 8: Feel the change in me tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why I never publish anything. I forget to post when I get busy and it has been 10 weeks like what?! I was supposed to post this chapter 10 weeks ago because this woulda been a good part for a break. Sorry but this is how I roll

Dean woke up to the shouting from upstairs.   
"Dean! Wake up and come eat breakfast! Now! Or we'll leave you here alone!"   
"Shut up Sasquatch." Dean groaned. He opened his eyes and found himself from a place he did not recognize at first. He glanced to his right, but he was alone. Had he and Cas slept together again? Why wasn't he in his own bed? Not that it really mattered that he'd slept here. Sleeping with Cas was nice. Dean got out of the bed and went upstairs. The smell of pancakes floated in the air and he could almost taste them. He went to the dining room and found the other three men sitting at the table eating. 

"Good morning, Dean." Castiel smiled.  
"Morning," Dean said and sat down next to his brother. Gabriel and Cas sat on the other side of the table. Gabriel had this annoying knowing grin on his face that told everyone that he wanted to say something even more annoying than his face.   
"We're gonna leave to the place we told you about," Sam said. Dean put a forkful of pancakes to his mouth.   
"Mm-hm. Which one?"   
"The one with the pond." Sam elaborated.   
"Right." They ate quietly and talked about if they had to go to the store on their way to the pond. Castiel mentioned that he had already made them sandwiches that they could take with them and they'd also have coffee. After the breakfast, Sam offered to clean the table and Dean went to change his clothes. 

Castiel knocked on Sam and Dean's room's door.   
"Come in," Dean said from the room. Castiel opened the door. Dean was folding his clothes into his bag. He had already changed his clothes and was wearing a red plaid shirt and jeans. He looked at Cas and closed his bag.   
"Cas?" Dean stepped away from the bed.   
"I thought you were Sam. I mean- not that it matters if it was you or Sam. I mean-"  
Dean was blushing. Castiel stepped closer and smiled.  
"Are you okay Dean?" Dean squeezed at Cas' arm gently.   
"I'm great, Cas." He smiled.  
"Are you sure? You're not mad at me for letting you sleep on my bed?"  
"Of course not," Dean said.   
"I did try to wake you up you know."  
"Well, I'm glad I didn't wake up." Castiel raised his brows looking at Dean confused. Dean turned away from Cas.   
"There's probably no way that I could say this without sounding creepy or pervy or something but I really like sleeping with you. You make me feel safe."  
Castiel turned to Dean so they were face to face again.   
"I like sleeping with you too."  
"Now you sound creepy." Dean grinned. Castiel rolled his eyes.  
"You know I used to have nightmares at least twice a week, but I don't have them anymore," Castiel said.   
"I haven't seen a single nightmare since I stayed at your and Sam's house."  
"That's good." Dean smiled.  
"Should we go? Sam and Gabe are probably waiting already," he asked.   
"Yes. Yes, they probably are." Castiel agreed and left the room with Dean.

Castiel was sitting on the bridge his feet hanging over the edge. The trees were hiding the sun so there was a nice shadow there. Dean walked to his side and sat down. He lowered his feet to the water. The water was very cold. It had not felt so cold when they were swimming, but now that he had already gotten himself dry again it felt very cold. But the feet got used to the water fast. The sun was glinting beautifully on the surface of the lake and the rush of the water from the rapid was quite calming.   
"This is a very nice place, Cas. I mean your summer house and this place and the little town." If you can even call it a town.  
"I'm very glad you invited us to come with you and Gabe." They looked at each other smiling. Dean took Castiel's hand and they sat there quietly for minutes just listening and watching the beautiful nature. This would be the best place and moment for a first kiss. Castiel leant against Dean's shoulder. If Dean had to choose a moment he'd have to live over and over again, this would be it.   
"We used to come here when I was a child." Dean could feel Castiel smile against his shoulder.   
"Me and Gabriel and Anna, Uriel, Michael and Lucifer." Cas' tone changed while listing the names.   
"Your childhood friends?" Dean asked. Castiel squeezed his hand a little stronger.  
"My siblings."  
"I didn't know you have other siblings," Dean said surprised.  
"Had," Castiel said quietly.   
"We spent every summer at the house with our mother. Our father was always working so he spent time with us rarely. When our mother was cooking and cleaning we used to come here to swim and sometimes camping and fishing. Sometimes Anna had to stay with mother and help her with cleaning and I'd pick her up from the house later with my bicycle."  
"Sounds nice."   
"It was nice."   
"What happened to your other siblings?" Castiel stiffened beside him and Dean knew he'd asked the wrong question. Castiel let go of his hand but didn't move away from Dean's side.   
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Dean said.  
"No, I just- My family, the things I would have to tell you are very dark and I don't want you to hear such horrible things, but then again it's part of my past and one of those things that have gotten me to this point. I could be dead right now like my parents and most of my siblings." Castiel's voice broke at the end of the last sentence. Dean wrapped his arms around his friend. Castiel gripped Dean's shirt and snuggled into Dean's arms.  
"It's okay, Cas. You're safe. You're with me and there's nothing here that could hurt you. I'm not gonna let anything hurt you okay?"   
"Everything was fine. We were just having a normal dinner and we were all happy and even dad had made it home for the dinner." Castiel sniffed.  
"Then Lucifer just snapped. First was Uriel. No one really noticed what happened. I remember how Uriel held his throat as he fell to the floor. There was so much blood and everyone started shouting. Michael and our father tried to stop Lucifer, but they couldn't and there was more blood. Lucifer went after Anna and our mother and Gabriel got me out of the house and told me to run as far as I could and call the police and I did. He went back to the house for mother and Anna, but it was too late. If it wasn't for Gabriel I would be dead too."   
"I'm so sorry Cas. I- don't know what-" Castiel dried his watery eyes with his left palm.  
"You don't have to say anything, Dean." Castiel spent a few more minutes calming himself in Dean's arms and pulled away.  
"You want to go swimming?" Castiel smiled. There was still a hint of sadness in it, but it's not like Dean would've expected Castiel to just forget their conversation in five minutes. It was obvious that Castiel left a lot out of the story, but maybe it was better that way. At least for now.

Castiel was still swimming. Dean watched him stand up in the water and walk to the small boat Gabriel was getting out of the water. The sun glinted on his wet skin. Dean felt a lump in his throat. Sam walked to his side and offered him a bottle of water. Dean looked at Sam and took the water bottle. He sighed. It had been a long day at the lake.   
"I can see him looking at you the same way you look at him. It's sad that neither of you wants to talk about it," Sam starts. There was nothing to talk about. Even if Castiel did feel the same way neither of them wanted to make things complicated. Castiel had made it pretty clear he wanted to be just friends by trying to act more like it. He had pretty much said it to Dean the night before. He explained it to Sam.  
"Besides you don't have the right to order me to talk about my feelings to Cas when you and Gabriel are still in the same state after over 2 years. If something's sad it's you two."   
"Actually no we're not," Sam states and turns to look elsewhere. Okay, what.   
"Haven't been for months." Dean frowns at sams confession.  
"How come you never told me?"   
"You would never let me be with Gabriel." Like Dean had any say in that.  
"You don't like him and you don't think he deserves me." Sam whines.  
"That is not true at all. I do like Gabriel. Not all the time. But I have grown to like the guy. We have spent so much time together lately it's difficult to hate him. And believe it or not, I do think he deserves you." Sam looked at him confused and in awe. After a few seconds, he wrapped Dean in a big hug.

When they got back to the summer house it was almost seven o'clock. Everyone was hungry. They had spent the whole day at the lake and they had only eaten a pair of sandwiches. They put a couple of pizzas from the freezer into the oven and went to play poker to the dining room.   
"Cas. You are like the worst poker player ever." Dean sighed.   
"You're not gonna win with a pair of threes." Castiel glared at Dean.   
"You could have had a pair of twos! And then I would have won."   
"How about we play something more suitable for children," Gabriel says and slams his cards on the table.   
"I'm cool with that." Sam agrees.   
"Or maybe we should just eat and go to bed."   
"C'mon lilbro. Don't be a killjoy." Castiel stood up.  
"It's just been a really long day." He says and walks to the kitchen.   
"Sam, why don't you go see if Cas needs any help?" Dean smiles. Sam looks at Dean suspiciously but then follows Castiel to the kitchen. Gabriel looks suspicious too.

"You gonna give me the talk?" Gabriel smirks.  
"The talk?"  
"About Sam."  
"Wait. What? No!"  
"Oookay. Now I'm scared." Dean rolled his eyes.   
"Look. Cas told me about your family and what you did for him and your mother and sister. I mean he didn't tell much, but he did tell enough. If it wasn't for you I would never have met your brother and I just- God I can't believe I'm saying this but Gabe you're a really good guy and I am so glad Sam has found you on his side. I trust you to treat him well." Gabriel is quiet for a long while.   
"You should probably know that I and Sam are not actually a thing."  
"You can stop lying. Sam told me everything. I'm trying to tell you that I'm more than fine with you and Sam being together. But if you hurt him I will kill you."   
"Aaand there was the talk."  
Dean glared at Gabriel.   
"Right."  
Cas and Sam brought the plates and pizza to the table and they ate. After eating they all agreed it was time for bed.

Castiel woke up all sweaty catching his breath. It was dark. He took his phone from the night table. It was only twenty past midnight. His t-shirt was glued to his back and it was getting cold. He took the shirt off and threw it on the floor. Castiel hadn't had a nightmare in a while and he'd almost forgotten what it was like to wake up alone and scared in the middle of the night. One thing was sure. He was not gonna fall asleep anytime soon. Maybe the others were still up. He could go upstairs and chat with them, but they had said that they'd also go to sleep. He could at least go for a drink. His throat was a little dry anyway. Castiel got up from under the sheets and took a clean shirt from the closet. He had a full closet here too so he wouldn't always have to bring clothes with him. It was very annoying especially when he spent more than a week at the house. He pulled the shirt on and went upstairs. All the lights were out which meant no one was up. Castiel went to the kitchen and took a glass from one of the cabinets and a bottle of whisky from another. He walked to the lobby and put one of the slippers on. Then he quietly opened the door and went to sit on the yard swing. The sun had gone down for some time back, but it was still quite bright. It wasn't cold at all. Castiel filled his glass and took a sip. The alcohol burned nicely in his throat. The front door opened. Castiel jumped a bit and saw Dean peeking out from behind the door. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.   
"Thought I heard the door open. Guess I was right."  
Dean walked closer and stopped in front of Castiel.  
"Couldn't sleep huh?" He asked and sat down beside the other man. Cas took another sip from his glass.  
"A nightmare." Castiel offered his glass for Dean. Dean took it and finished the drink with a gulp.   
"What's keeping you up, Dean?"   
"Can't stop thinking about things."   
"What kind of things are you thinking about?"  
"Just things. You know Sam and Gabe, this place." Dean sighs.   
"Mostly us."   
"Us?" Castiel squints. He took the bottle of whiskey from the ground and filled the glass. This time he made it full. He takes a gulp and then offers the glass to Dean who takes it.   
"What is this thing we're doing? I don't understand it." Dean's looking at his hands tinkering with the glass in his hands.  
"We're friends." Unfortunately, Castiel thinks. He looks at Dean who's still looking down at his own hands. He'd give anything to feel those hands on his face again. Castiel grabs Dean's wrist gently, but Dean pulls his hand from the grip and stands up.   
"Stop it, Cas! That's exactly what I meant!" Dean says with a raised voice. When he looks at Cas he can see the confusion on his friend's face.  
"We always touch each other and hell we've slept in the same bed twice! And the first time we actually cuddled! You're ruining me, man." Dean runs a hand through his hair and sucks in a breath to calm himself.   
"I just need you to tell me why are you doing all this. I mean I touch you because I like feeling you because that's how I know you're real. Fuck I sound like a girl. And there's also that if you're not the one touching, you back off and I don't understand anything, Cas. I probably don't even make any sense, but you're not really making any sense either. I just need to know if this is what you really want for us."  
Cas looks at him still confused but also with a hint of a smile on his face that makes Dean feel confused. In a second Castiel is up and kissing him. Dean's even more confused and doesn't understand immediately what is happening. He can feel the soft lips pressed against his and the hands on the sides of his face. Dean rose his empty hand to embrace the other man's jaw. He can feel Cas' tongue exploring his mouth and he can taste Cas along with the whiskey. This must be the best kiss ever. Dean takes the lead and slides his own tongue into the other man's mouth. He feels teeth bite on the head of his tongue and he leans away from the kiss grinning.   
"Did you just bite me, Mister?"  
"Maybe" Castiel smirked and pecked Dean on the lips.   
"Gotta say this clears things up a bit," Dean says.   
"Good. That's what I was aiming for" Castiel lowers his hands on Dean's chest and looks at their feet.   
"Was it a good thing?" Cas smiles sheepishly. "That I kissed you."   
Dean runs his thumb along the other man's cheek and chuckles.   
"One of the best things that have happened to me so far. I probably never could've gotten myself to do that. I'm such a wuss."  
"You know friends don't usually do this." Castiel grins.  
"What, kiss? How would I know? You're my only friend" Dean jokes.  
"You always do that." Castiel brushes the other man's lips with his thumb and moves his hand to stroke his neck gently.  
"Do what?" Dean asks a little tense from the touch.  
"Make jokes when you're nervous" Castiel smiles.  
"I make jokes all the time" Dean argues. Castiel pecks another kiss on Dean's mouth.  
"You have no idea how long I've waited for you to tell me something that would give me the opportunity to really touch you." Castiel whispers. "I've been so careful with you because I thought you didn't- feel the same way about me and that's why I haven't really allowed you to touch me. I mean every time I did allow myself to feel you it- it felt so good."  
"I'm so sorry," Dean says quietly.  
"For what?"   
"For not telling you how many times I've dreamed about this moment."   
"You've dreamed about this?" Castiel smiled wickedly. "And what happened after we'd kissed and talked?" Dean's face turns a little red.   
"Uh-"  
"Why don't we go to sleep Dean. It's late." Castiel recommends. "You could escort me downstairs if you want."  
"Aren't you afraid I might do something inappropriate?" Dean grins. Castiel takes his hand and starts walking towards the door.  
"Maybe I want you to do something inappropriate." He says and glances at Dean. They walk downstairs quietly so they don't wake up the others.   
"Do you want to stay here or go upstairs?" After a few seconds of hesitating Dean's all over Cas. They're kissing again. More passionately than before.   
"Here it is then." Castiel snarls. Dean closes the door behind as they move into the room from the hallway. Not parting for a second. Castiel slams Dean against the fireplace. There's a pain on his back as it hits the border but damn it does feel good. He moves his hands up to pull Cas' hair. Castiel moves his mouth lower to nip Dean's neck a few times before sucking a bruise on it.   
"I would love to take you right here, right now. I'd like to see how you make no objections while I fuck you against this fireplace. I'd love to hear those sounds you'd make." Cas whispers into his ear. Dean feels like he can't breathe. And why the fuck did he put on jeans when he left his room.   
"I know you'd like that." Castiel bites his jaw. He can't stop the whimper that he lets out.   
"But tonight I'm going to make sweet love to you on my bed." How can a person say these things with such serious tone and face? Castiel kisses Dean on the mouth and moves them closer to the bed. He sits down in the middle of the bed.   
Dean follows him and sits on the other man's lap. He kisses Castiel softly. They stare at each other for a moment. Like confirming this was okay for both of them. The hands that are supporting Dean from behind start to pull his shirt off. The unfamiliar insecure feeling is here again. Dean lifts his arms up and after the shirt is off he snuggles into Cas' neck. He can feel Castiel pecking his neck and stroking his hair gently. Castiel tucks his head up so he can take his own shirt off. Dean's eyes shift to enjoy the sight of his bare untanned skin. He wants to kiss every inch of Castiel. A hand comes to caress his cheek.  
"Do you know how this works? I mean we don't have to do anything you are not comfortable with but if you want to-" Dean cuts Castiel off with a kiss.  
"I have done some research these past months. You know out of curiosity. I trust you to do whatever you think we will both enjoy. I'll tell if something doesn't feel good," he whispers.  
"Good." Castiel pressed their mouths together and pushed Dean down to the bed with his body. He climbed out of the bed and excused himself as he sneaked to get a lube from the bathroom. He was back in less than thirty seconds. Castiel stripped off his pants and climbed back on top of Dean. He started kissing his chest and nipples worked his way to the stomach and opened the belt on Dean's jeans. Dean himself hurried to open the rest as they shared nervous smiles. He lifted his hips to lower the jeans. Castiel then pulled them off neatly. It felt amazing to finally be free of the tight jeans but on the other hand, he was hungry for another kind of pressure. He took Castiel's wrist and guided his hand to his member. He inhaled deeply as he felt the touch. Castiel leaned in for another long kiss while grinding on Dean's hip. Dean helped Castiel out of his boxers and they continued for a few more seconds. Castiel then fumbled one-handed with the tube that he'd brought earlier and managed to squeeze some lube on his hand. He gets up on his knees and positions himself between Dean's legs. Dean couldn't help but close his eye when Castiel took him into his mouth all his length at once.   
"Holy shit," he gasped. He hadn't had a blow job in a very long time. They really should have done this a long time ago.

Castiel brought his fingers to tease his own entrance as he was sliding his tongue up Dean's cock. He pushed one of his fingers inside to pen up a little bit. He was quite nervous and it was a bit awkward doing it and blowing Dean at the same time. Castiel looked up and saw Dean's eyes locked on him. Dean reached to pull Castiel on top of him so they were chest to chest. He pressed their lips together and slid his hand over his back to his rear. Castiel stiffens and breaks the kiss.  
"You don't have to-"  
"I want to." Dean pushed a finger inside the lubed hole after Cas had moved his own hand away. Castiel moans loudly when Dean ads another finger. Castiel takes both of their dicks in his hands and starts stroking them at the same pace. They are both breathing heavily and Cas feels totally relaxed as Dean's fingers move in his ass. He moves his hand to grab Dean's wrist and then pulls him out. He moves to sit on top of Dean and fills himself with his cock. Dean lets out a grunt of pleasure below him. His eyes shift to look at Castiel. He rises to kiss him rough with lust. Castiel starts moving as Dean helps him to take up a pace gripping his hips. Castiel feels every part of him fill up with lust, and desire and love. They are both panting and Castiel smiles wide. Eyes closed he wraps every part of himself around Dean so there is no air between them. They keep moving slowly until Dean rolls himself over Castiel and pushes them down. Castiel feels a hand grab on him.  
"Castiel." His name slips out of Dean's mouth and he opens his eyes to stare at the green eyes filled with all the same emotions that his own eyes were filled with.  
"Dean." He cries as the climax hits him like a tidal wave. Dean trembles on top of him as he comes right after. He pulls out slowly and collapses next to the other man. Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek "I hope this weekend never ends."


End file.
